ok peep this, tell me wot u think. thanks.

Unrequited love, it’s burning up my soul
Feeling empty, like pockets on the dole
I’m, like a galaxy sucked into a black hole
Life seems pointless, like a broken pencil
Acting nasty cuz this period is tensile
Clenched fists, don’t ask me why im stressed
It’s like im in debt, im feeling possessed
Aint in the 30’s but I still feel depressed
Dressed in ice, on the inside im frozen
Like Jesus’ brothers, the ones that weren’t chosen
Fuck it, now y’all witnessing the sobering
Take you to the next level guess im an elevator
I’ll grind a motherfucker just like I was a skater
Fossilise you, your body needs a carbon dater
This is it, the re-birth I’ve bin waiting
The new me, see im constantly updating
Rhymes so deep they need annotating
I’m living now fuck having a regret
This biro’s my pet relieve stress like a cigarette
Causing more chaos than a fake terrorist threat
U bet against me I’ll send u into debt
I’d be a sex symbol but I aint blond or brunette
My shit puts u in the shadows like a fucking silhouette
There two sides to me I’m sorta like the moon
Start wars like I was an oil tycoon
I hate these dude who fake like a cartoon
Wack rappers get busted like balloons
With they over-inflated ego’s
Forget cannabis, my rhymes higher than eagles
My music is mega, I’m keeping it legal
But I wont hesitate to bust shots like beanie sigel
When I spit, u keep coming back like a beagle

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Please Check My Rhymes:

Sum Shit I Wrote

shit was hot....

its was ok........not the best but decent

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it was nice i like ur structure but not ur potential but it'z str8 tho

Oooooooooooooooooooo Lovely

THAT SHIT WAS AITE NO DOUT,VERY CREATIVE WITH THE LINES....Feeling empty, like pockets on the dole
I’m, like a galaxy sucked into a black hole
Life seems pointless, like a broken pencil
Acting nasty cuz this period is tensile

NOT BAD...

thanks for the feedback guys. any suggestions wot to improve on for next time?

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Please Check My Rhymes:

Sum Shit I Wrote

it was g'd up a lil bit i enjoyed it but keepin workin hard & u'll get 2 ur potential

it was good & u brought da pain but continue 2 work on ur flow