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06-23-04, 11:02 PM | #1 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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I hate loving you
IP: EC0B 84C7
everyday i tell myself what i'm i doing loveing you,
thinking and thinking but still i don't have a clue i don't even know how stuck to my heart like glue, probably i was a sucker of you saying your loving was true, but still i think it's better if we were made in to two, because your love is playing me like a fool, would of never have thought that you would be the one, you don't even deserve to have my heart won, but you constantly told me that i was like a beautiful swan, when i felt like an ugly duckling, now that you hurt me all you could do is sit back chuckling, or making me feel like a young infant suckling, but i garentee you no more night dreaming of you with my pillow cuddleing, now you know loving you is one thing i hate i getting smarter each day i realize more and more i could hold my weight, understanding better that you just use me like i was some kind of bait, now i know that all you are is just a mistate, well you no long have what my heart had for store, now your were something that didn't exist like metaphor now get out of my life and for now and forever more |
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06-24-04, 12:04 AM | #2 | |||||
Suspended: Biting
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IP: D6FB 7DDA
i was feelin dat tru feelings behind it nothin more keep doin what ya doin and stay safe~one~
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07-12-04, 03:16 AM | #3 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
hey thanks alot i would really apperiate if any body else sends a feed back
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07-12-04, 03:21 AM | #4 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: DB8D 5EE9
ay...good poem kidd....alot of feelin an emotion went in to dat piece...keep umm comin...peace
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07-12-04, 03:26 AM | #5 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
thanks alot dude your a good writer yourself one mexican to another
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07-12-04, 10:57 PM | #6 | ||||||
Umm...Yeah
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IP: 5043 32F4
that was really good you had nice depth & emotion that was truly amazing...
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07-13-04, 01:35 AM | #7 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 4289 77F4
that was good man, your heart was pourin out,i like that stuff, was a nice poem....
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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07-13-04, 06:05 PM | #8 | |||||
The Ups and Downs of Life
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IP: D666 F54C
This wuz pretty good- lotta feelin... good job--- 1
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07-14-04, 02:20 AM | #9 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 729E 6154
It seemed to me as the reader that it was forced, the rhyming. What attracted me was the title of the piece...I feel that way with my b/f I hate loving him and not being able to hate him cause he's so mean sometimes.
This seemed deep, though I dont think the structure was 100% straight, it was true emotion...so keep up on all the writing! |
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07-15-04, 02:20 AM | #10 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
thanks everyone i really apreciated it, it means alot to me
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07-16-04, 02:00 AM | #11 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
that poems was really good i liked it alot i know how you feel and it's cool cause your from central cali also
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07-16-04, 03:45 AM | #12 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: EC0B 84C7
nice poem keep up the good job
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07-18-04, 10:50 PM | #13 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 2195 8BED
ur shit was tight i liked it
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07-19-04, 08:09 AM | #14 | ||||
yawn
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IP: 06D4 9403
pretty nice...Nothing more then emotion and a tiny bit of vocab. 6.5/10
Return the favor Stranger At the Gates
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do your research. |
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