Yo! LKD in the spot to be! And all y'all lil shorties come flock to me! Yeah i keep it raw, no i keep it real, no none of y'all niggas here know the deal! Cuz i'm just 15 i can't rap! Fuck that newb bitch! I'm ill touch that, I keep my rhymes tight and my flow sick! Fuck that steed dude! GET OFF MY DICK! YOU BEGGIN ON THE CORNER WHILE I'M MAKIN THE GREEN! I'M THE ILLIST M.C. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! When i blow up y'all niggas come to my show but no, security there bitch you gots to go! Keep the rhyme going yes i am the man. Bitch I'll go Knoc'turnal "That's the way I am" Hey i'll cheat my through a battle Quote from P*Nok sittin watchin reruns of Murder...She wrote! Don't get me wrong, no i'm not a prick. I just don't like lil gay dudes tryin to jump on my dick! My last joke was about Pickin stocks of corn! Meanwhile Gkillaz was at his house sittin there watchin porn! Now i'm out shootin...oops my bad it was a dud. "I'm hunting wappers Shhhhhh" Quote from Elmer Fudd! Ha ha Now i'm tired of making jokes
lets get real cuz a real nigga quotes!

1st things 1st, u need to structure ya rymes, use - or / at the end of ya lines so peeps can get ya flow better....

u need more creativity also, this piece was pretty basic with a lil ryme.....

elevate ya shit kid.....

1....

Krysis...

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I agree wit Krysis...well i was jst like you...who wasn't? but just make your lines more clear like:

"Yo! LKD in the spot to be! And all y'all lil shorties come flock to me!//
Yeah i keep it raw, no i keep it real,//
no none of y'all niggas here know the deal!//"

do it like that...and elavate..alot!!!

Can't be mad at ya Thankz for the advise Holla at ya boi!