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Old 12-02-04, 09:01 PM   #1
DrasticMeasureZ
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One Cra-z Night
IP: CF50 8369

As the winds thrive past my face, the cold turning my face pale
My nose is red, my lips are chapped and ruff, my lips are so stale
lights don’t work, kids broke them, -shakin my head and sighs
On the dark road all I see is two white-eyes just pasting by
Puts my hand in my pocket, take out an cigarette lights it
Inhale, exhale like un-gravity my brain has been ……lifted
Not even aware of my lungs, as it tightens and crushing
I put my hands on my chest, I can feel the blood rushing
To my head. My eyes is getting shady turning fade to black
Inhaling my breath. Ready to exhale but I couldn’t do that
My eyes rolling back to my head, couldn’t see. I’d scream
Fell on my knees. I put my hand ova my eyes. ITS BURNING~!
I got up from my knees, started running down the street
didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t care. I needed help
(beep beep) i turned where the sound was coming. And fell
I’ve felted the tires throbbing viciously over my stomach
Put my hand ova my mouth, theres goes the blood gushing
I putted my hand on my stomach. Pain feels like labor pain
I’d tookin one puff of my cigarette. Now my eyes are like ray
Blinded to see the world. Pounded my hand on tha concrete with steam
Putted my hand over my face. With my knuckles still firmly slowly bleeds
Went to sleep. This world to me now is black. I have to use my senses
Eyes, ears and feel, still mad at myself that I don’t have my …..lenses
__________________



THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
Last edited by DrasticMeasureZ : 12-02-04 at 10:51 PM.
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Old 12-02-04, 09:07 PM   #2
DrasticMeasureZ
mess with me get cooked
 
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Uppin For Some Fucking Feedback


Chea~!............
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THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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Old 12-02-04, 09:24 PM   #3
DrasticMeasureZ
mess with me get cooked
 
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Uppin For Feedbacks................................chea Come On Yo
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THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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Old 12-02-04, 09:45 PM   #4
Cocaine
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decent.. needs work though 6.5/10
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Old 12-02-04, 09:50 PM   #5
DrasticMeasureZ
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Blah.............................................. ...............uppin For More Feed
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THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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Old 12-02-04, 09:51 PM   #6
Shadow74
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it funny how ours were both got fucked up endings..lol..it was tyte though i liked it
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Old 12-02-04, 09:56 PM   #7
DrasticMeasureZ
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Lol Chea.............................................. .........uppin For Feed
__________________



THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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Old 12-02-04, 10:31 PM   #8
DrasticMeasureZ
mess with me get cooked
 
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chea.............................................. ..................uppin fools
__________________



THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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Old 12-02-04, 10:48 PM   #9
Houdini
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Nice drop bro, Long time no talk, I wish u'd get on aim/aol.....haha P3C man


^________________________________^ Uppin
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Old 12-02-04, 10:50 PM   #10
Kawn Flixx
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good 8/10

what I fucked up ending LMAO
Edit that ending now lol please

it wsa good till the whole it was a dream shit came up lol

take that out adn it'll be a 8.5/10

peace fam
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Old 12-02-04, 10:50 PM   #11
DrasticMeasureZ
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o hell naw fam whats sup........................................whats ya aim fam so i can get at cha
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THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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Old 12-02-04, 10:52 PM   #12
DrasticMeasureZ
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .Indeph.
good 8/10

what I fucked up ending LMAO
Edit that ending now lol please

it wsa good till the whole it was a dream shit came up lol

take that out adn it'll be a 8.5/10

peace fam


i just did...........................getting taught by the teacher....but one day the teacher shall be taugh
__________________



THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
Send a message via AIM to DrasticMeasureZ   Reply With Quote
Old 12-02-04, 11:05 PM   #13
Parallel
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hmm good stucture....i see you were putting time into your stucutre i really like your opener tho it was good use but rhymes not multis tho...but good use of rhymes....and stucture flowed well on this heres my fav line like i said the opener:
As the winds thrive past my face, the cold turning my face pale
My nose is red, my lips are chapped and ruff, my lips are so stale
^^hot line
keep working on stucture kind fell off a lil bit...but not bad still flowed man...8.3/10
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Old 12-03-04, 06:42 AM   #14
Ysdat
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I thought the structure could be changed a bit, it couldbe your personnal style of writing,so you know the flow. good lyric's.
7.5/10
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Old 12-03-04, 06:56 AM   #15
DrasticMeasureZ
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well there aint no other fonts

my style-is like

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oo

^^^^^^^^^ thats kinda my style but the lines going to be so stretchy and shit........thats how i write on paper...........chea feel me


but thanks for the feedback


uppin for more feeds


chea
__________________



THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wreckage
Very fucking Nice man, deep shyt, Ima nominate ya for Best poet.

Uppin this for drastic....10/10.....NICE SHYT MAN keep it up.


SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM
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