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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-14-04, 08:39 PM
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#1
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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Color of Love
IP: 3B54 8295
What is love.. a question often asked... Many Times i have been close to the answer.. but it eluded my grasp... Love is a Beautiful thing... Its the Essence of life... In the same sense love is dangerous.. it can change your life... I look for the answer... from the heavens above.. as the red blood drips down my finger.. i now know the color of love.. something short and quick.. but alot of emotion..
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12-14-04, 08:41 PM
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#2
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 5043 32F4
played topic...but good emotion as you say...but weak vocab and the stucture was mad off...meh...6/10
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12-14-04, 09:03 PM
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#3
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: 3B54 8295
lol.. yeah this is a poem i just put it in here for more feed...
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12-14-04, 09:05 PM
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#4
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: 0825 899A
LIKE PARREL SAID
lots of emotions in an small package...struture is kinda messed up which is the flow is messed up too....upp your vocab....yes it was short but the emotion's of it was expandatory peace return an fav in my open mic "freestyle#2 (breaking out) peace the link is in the sig fam
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.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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12-14-04, 09:11 PM
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#5
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who wants a hug????
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IP: 4E62 E80E
nice drop bud
structure is a tad fucked, but good emotion............ its pretty good, but ive seen better of yours........ good vocab i think for such a short drop.... nice......... |
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12-14-04, 09:16 PM
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#6
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: 3B54 8295
damn you fools.. structure is supposed to be off.. it isnt supposed to flow. its more of a poem..
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12-14-04, 09:29 PM
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#7
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I walk & walk over you
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IP: 0825 899A
Um. W/e Drop On My Open Mic Fam Peace Return That Fav
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.:* Crhyme Sindicate* :.
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12-14-04, 09:30 PM
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#8
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: 3B54 8295
dont say whatever in my thread... lol
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12-14-04, 09:33 PM
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#9
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...
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IP: 6CB8 12EC
Like everyone else said... Structure is bad... O well... Not a huge deal...
Love is a Beautiful thing... Its the Essence of life... In the same sense love is dangerous.. it can change your life... I mean... Not a bad line... But you use life both times... Which isn't that bad, except for the fact that this poem/song is only 6 lines. Good emotion though. 6/10... Would be better if longer. |
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12-16-04, 10:23 PM
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#10
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.::Outside The Circle::.
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IP: 3B54 8295
uppin.... i repeat this is a poem..
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