I just had to get this off my chest... kinda long but it's how i felt at the moment


January 16, 2003

I remember packing my bags...
2 duffels, 1 flight bag, and 1 ruck sack...
dreading each day that passed as they
crawled by silently... emotionless...
Uncle Sam had finally called my number...
said it was time for me to go...
time to put those skills to use that
i've been training for these last 4 years...
time to repay the Army for all the benefits earned...
for all the training learned ... but at what cost?
Well, let's start with leaving your family behind
never knowing if you'll ever see them again...
how about not knowing what's around that next bend...
IED's and RPG's run rampant where I'm going...
the supply of ammo for the so-called enemy is endless
who's to say that there's no bullet with my name on it?
We all gotta go sometime... but not like this...
my children are still young; my wife? the air i breathe...
i need them as much as they need me...
without them i am already dead... you know the phrase...
"Dead Man Walking"... that's how i feel now
I'm gonna miss birthdays this year... Thanksgiving...
all the things i took for granted have become my treasure...
the things i never took the time to appreciate...
like time with my loved ones... assuming they'd always be there...
holding hands with my wife... or simply watching my daughter smile
this could possibly be my last home cooked meal...
Only God knows what's in store for me

10 Months Later

For the last 10 months I've prayed...
not just for me but for us all...
not just us as in military personnel, but us as humans
The Lord has kept me safe... my father by his side...
The angel i needed in my times of need and depression
They kept me safe from explosions and gun fire...
safe from the kidnappings and beheadings... convoys gone awry...
they've kept me mentally and physically fit...
allowed me to perform my duties on a day to day basis...
not everyone has gotten this far and i am thankful...
thankful that my life partner was able to maintain
thankful that my children are healthy and await my return
thankful for each and everyday that i am alive
walking God's great Earth, seeing his creations...
I believe all things happen for a reason...
we may not know why they happen when they do
but eventually... in the long run... it will be revealed
I look at this deployment as a gift from above
It's taught me to appreciate life and all it has to offer
I've become closer to my wife and children
I've learned to trust my co-workers; fellow man
I've seen what it's like to be on the other side...
to have wants and needs and no means of attaining them
I've learned compassion for all men and women
These lessons were given to me for a reason
to teach those who seek learning...including myself
now here it is... Christmas Eve... and I am home
safe and sound... my children soon to open thier gifts
it's not much this year... but appreciation for what they have
is one of the lessons they'll have to learn in life...
it took this deployment for me to really know what it is
My countdown is over... 2 weeks short of 365 days
and i appreciate those 2 weeks... with all my heart
just as much as i appreciate being home with my family...
safe and sound... in one piece... under one roof
under the watchful eye of my personal angel
and my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ


Repect and condolences to the families of the soldiers from FT. Lewis who recently died in Mosul when their chow hall was attacked by insurgents. You;ll always have a place in our hearts.