this is just who i am..what about yall? Real rb MC'z listen up..and broke muh fuckas pay-attention..on how i...


move past massive rival clicks...that reign storms..
i'm silently passin-passages..
leadin' to assassins masqueradin' then blastin cllips..
and me..dodgin hollow bullet-tips.
nigga must of forgot..im a revengful nigga..beef wit me..andd i'll go jason savimbi and hurt a busta...
i jus' sttart diss-fragmentin a hater glass jaw bone..DoG..you couldn't put put hands on me..if you were roy jones..
cos that's like stevie sayin he coould see me..nigga believe me..i'm tha New and last Don..
i aint claimin i rhyme greater..but DoG lable me.. the wack eliminator
dethronin crowns-from 2pac and B-I-G wanna be's..yall some clowns to me..
so..bro listen cos its bout to get deep...like 7 grave feet...i'm damn near gon' meet..casket status..
yeah right..im like Al capone.. a Gangsthug classic on and off microphones..
i condone
insane raps..cos i was raised to slay kats..and if i didnt black-then...i'm jus a menace wit these lyrics..
from way backk in anciet moor warrior days..perhaps i earthquake shake niggas so caspers spirit gets ghost..
i'm fryin tha beef..collabin wit tha toast..
on post..for war like nat turner freed fighters..
im riotin the racist pigs and reppin ma folks..


that's jus a rough taste...@ a crazy pace..

while i got writer's block...but the reason i wanted to checkk itt,,ya already know..

im trying hard to better my shit..

this was dope. liked how ya ended a hook then threw it in the next bar as an internal and finishing it off with anotha hook. this was all around good. mad internal rhyme also had a good flow. go ahead and trying harder but i was feelin this. peace.
joey

TIGHT ISH NO DOUBT

anythingg i need to improve..?uppin for mo' replies..(gracias=logic abd joey)..

shit was ill dawg, i like how u started, how the intro went right into the verse, u had nice flow u showed skill

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D.L.W

thanks homeboy.....come though yall quit snorin..wake up and reply.. i must know if i need to improve!

show yall respect..wit honest replies..so quit hibernatin on this post..damn

I think internally you had everything for an iLL flow, but I werent feeling the concept, cos its not something I would really think about happening... The rhyme scheme was nice, good internals and multies worked all the way through... The vocab coulda been upped slightly for some knowledge words and strength... Wordplay was lacced, saw some similes, more metaphores woulda made it unto a stronger piece... It was a good read though, keep spitting and elevating...

Peez...