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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-28-05, 10:32 AM
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#1
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New to RV
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Ice cold
IP: 227E 171E
I'm composing holy scriptures, living life as if i have died twice
i got this anger and its deep in my veins, i see rain but i dont feel it, my emotions intensified my rate of thought tremdous yo do you sense terror terriied speaking these truths that might get me killed i give a fuk though you pull that pistol boy i best be shot these demons thats in my head farreal though they just wont stop light years, lightwaves more than most can imagine i've seen these steets huslte ben franklin up off that fifty what you know bout poverty stricken , what do you know about no light, no food rats and roaches and taking ice cold showers in the heart of the winter you see this Anger its so deep in my veins. stained by blood at a early age my sanity unstable, some think that i might take my life and although im still breathing composite still depleting deep thinking ways to force survival your bible studies and Masjiids suicide bombings and smashed ribs out live me i beg to differ i'm living life as if i died twice......... Ice cold |
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01-28-05, 10:46 AM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: 28AD 5545
not bad, you had a good rap, over all but if u get into the rhymes why not just put the rhymes at tha end of tha sentence, becuz u confused tha shit out of me......keep written ur doin good, can only get better. 6/10
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M.A.F.i.A ......Tha MAFIA
 "DO WHAT YOU SAY, MEAN WHAT YOU DO" M.A.F.i.A  YOUR RHYMES ARE   |
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01-28-05, 10:53 AM
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#3
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New to RV
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IP: 227E 171E
i guess if you read it slow word for word it makes more sense even with the rhyming words not at the end of the sentence because it's not formatted like that i"m trying to learnt he best format so people can understnad and see what i see
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01-28-05, 12:46 PM
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#4
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New to RV
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IP: 3240 794D
i did read slow, much better i think ima try that one keep it up mayne u gunna elavate if u keep written, in tha mean time i think that you should try out for the crew THA MAFIA, cud use some new hott talent like you try it out......peace
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M.A.F.i.A ......Tha MAFIA
"DO WHAT YOU SAY, MEAN WHAT YOU DO" M.A.F.i.A YOUR RHYMES ARE |
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01-28-05, 04:10 PM
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#5
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 9C92 533D
not bad for a newb...fix structure...but overall...
8/10 |
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