![]() |
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
Life As It Is
IP: 348C A1C6
i wrote this in about 10 minutes..half was kinda freestyled..i also havnt wrote a text piece for a long time, im tryna stick to audios but watever, eney tips or feedback would be great...
yo, this pain inside me has no remorse on the way i smoke into a pipe, i gotta look deeper into myself and learn to quit runnin from life, preach into my brains;push into the fast lane to have the hype go insane, be the person that is stronger in the game without blades into my veins, im smarter than that;smarter than to jus pick on exposed whores, know right from wrong and get rid of my fear hidin behind closed doors, but im still scared of the voices that always run through my mind, hate seein life as it is while my head is jus stuck on the sideline, now you see why im like this and why this world is not smart, i aint tryna top the charts because i already threw away my own heart, there is a devil inside everyones soul that will never be guessed, but i know myself and know how to protect myself wit a vest, know wat this game is bringin me and why my heart is blessed, fuck that line;a gun in my hand wants to put slugs to my chest, im dieing of hate and lookin to die for wat i have to say, pick up guns and spray my life away cuz its life as it weighs. hommie...
__________________
![]() Last edited by intensify effect : 02-01-05 at 08:56 AM. |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: CF38 FCAC
kinda steched lines but not bad it still flwos but you wouldnt be able to do that on a audio track so try practicing doing it without so many words then it will flow so much better...but the stucture was pretty good..but the creativty lacked the vocab was weak and i didnt see to much emotion going on in there...but keep doing yo thang..it will come...
alright peice... leave feed on my OM's in my sig...thanks... |
|||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: 348C A1C6
yeh i could make it shorter like an audio drop..thanks for the tip, ill do it next
__________________
![]() |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: 6140 4748
uppin for some more feedback
__________________
![]() |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: C161 74E7
still uppin for some feedback
__________________
![]() |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: ED1A 9F1F
still uppin for some feedback!!!!
__________________
![]() |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||
Banned
|
IP: FC89 54C5
thanks.............
Last edited by intensify effect : 02-01-05 at 08:55 AM. |
|||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: 7567 905C
Links:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1930546 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1930547 not sure wat you meant by droppin the links..i read the threads you posted but, i think you ment to drop 2 links..not sure ![]() eneything wrong wit it jus PM or sumthin...
__________________
![]() |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
New to RV
|
IP: 12BB 66D2
streatched line... flow seemed off... good vocab... it was pretty decent
7.3/10 |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: 7E08 0BF9
ight..thanks for the feed man, i will shorten my lines..no worries on that..
__________________
![]() |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 43A7 7FC1
Quote:
I dont have rEally much To Say He explained it All But Still I Nice peice and i Think Ill Give ya A 8/10 Outta Generousity Stay Up Peace |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||
**the council**
|
IP: 5FE6 7BC9
this drop was pretty good, i think you put some emotion into it, though sometimes you used simple vocab and the lines were stretched it still flowed pretty well,
i gotta look deeper into myself and learn to quit runnin from life ^^^i liked this line.....keep doing it 8/10......
__________________
![]() ![]() |
|||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Light Weight
|
IP: 6DB1 8409
ight thanks man...ill keep droppin and ill work on the feedback tips
__________________
![]() |
|||||||
![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|