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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-18-04, 02:23 PM
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#1
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Light Weight
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Dear,Dad
IP: 5BA9 4BAA
Dear, Dad I hope this letter finds u in the best of health..
Because my health aint best withought your pressence felt.. I had tough times from child to man.. As a teen i sold drugs and held guns..i was out of hand.. But only if u could see me now.. I bet ud be proud.. I traveled around the world.. I hope this makes u smile.. Because its been awile since i flashed a grin my past was spent with strangers as parents Anothe kid victim to foster care It was some drastic shit.. U probally dont care.. Id be a liar if i said i hated u Imjust tired of pretending..tired of faking u I learned to ride life's bycycle all by myself..no thanks to u No training wheels..no one to rub my bruises.. No discipline ..No encouragement.. I encourage my self!... NO dad to watch over me... Only God preserved my health.. You left me in a world all alone.. No one to look up too..No one to hold.. I bet u some where out there wandering... a lost soul But u dont have to be ..Dad u can come home..Home to me[I][SIZE=2]... |
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12-18-04, 04:31 PM
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#2
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Back In Business
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IP: 9227 0965
damn....
this is some deep shyt... the usual kat woulda just said "fuck you, pops!"... but you willing to give dude a chance that most absent fathers don't get... it takes a real big person to do some shyt like that.... nice drop man... (peep my thread in Lyricist Lounge ... looking for OM and Poetry pieces) |
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12-20-04, 11:04 AM
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#3
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FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: 21E1 08CC
damn man...that was deep shit...like ill said most cats say fuck pops, but you were brave enough to say how you really felt...and thats tight man...keep droppin shit like this...i enjoyed reading this alot...9/10...keep it up man...~1~...
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
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12-20-04, 12:16 PM
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#4
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: A34C 61B2
wow man, this is the deepest poem i've read this month, wow, i could also really feel the great emotion in this, and also, very very nice vocabulary, for someone that has been here shortly, your pretty good, much prop's, lookin forward to more of your work, when you can check out one of my poems
__________________
www.FG-Servers.com    |
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12-20-04, 01:12 PM
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#5
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Odi et Amo
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IP: BFC8 7293
Really nice drop! It doesn't take a genius to see that this came straight from the heart and i loved the way you approached the topic. This has probly been done before but you made it yours. The emotion was sooooo good, i was really feeling everything you stated...It's a sort of cry for help but without losing your dignity, you found a perfect balance...Beautiful!
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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12-20-04, 01:20 PM
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#6
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Light Weight
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IP: A188 E931
thanx for the support ma!
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12-20-04, 02:30 PM
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#7
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: A34C 61B2
you ever go to a differ site?
__________________
www.FG-Servers.com |
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12-20-04, 02:36 PM
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#8
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Light Weight
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IP: A188 E931
yeah i have a another site i spit o called freestyleunderground.com
thats where i oringinally wrote this piece |
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12-20-04, 03:27 PM
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#9
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: A34C 61B2
hmm very nice, much props
__________________
www.FG-Servers.com |
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12-21-04, 01:29 PM
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#10
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Light Weight
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IP: 9900 A5CC
thanx for the support my man
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12-21-04, 02:32 PM
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#11
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New to RV
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IP: C060 2FF2
That was tight, I felt the heat from your heart then. It was done really well, i don't think anyone can diss that one. Keep it goin', keep it flowin' man
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12-21-04, 02:55 PM
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#12
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Light Weight
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IP: 9900 A5CC
thanx my nigga thanx for the love
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01-06-05, 11:37 AM
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#13
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 8A1A D0A3
that is some deep stuff man
the flow was there, i really liked the idea u making hot stuff dawg, good job |
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01-07-05, 01:16 AM
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#14
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Light Weight
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IP: 2421 3211
thanx man i was wonderin naw mean cuz alotr of niggas been hatin not wantin to give me my props but i know im tight especially coming from freestyle underground
aint nothin but lyricist over there for real but ne ways thanx my nig
__________________
Where Im From! Cabrini Green!  Quote:
Quote:
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01-07-05, 04:36 PM
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#15
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'Member Those Golden Days
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IP: 71E7 6664
I don't care if people use this as a personal, but I fucking cried when I was done. This hits home pretty bad. My dad just moved out so I can feel it. Now on to rating.
Aight imagry, bicycle is a nice metaphor. Ok vocab and good flow. Your rhyming kept going off and on which isn't great, but for a lot of parts it worked. Good drop overall, work on some more wordplay and metaphors. 8/10 Return the favor by either dropping an honest vote on my topical, or leaving feedback. Either way please check it out. px |
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