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Old 12-09-04, 12:20 PM   #1
YuNG TiLT
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Red face A little sumthin...

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This is sumthin i wrote for this gurl in tha 8th grade, this is my first and i hope not my last poem im postin in herr so be honest kause therr's always room 4 improvement

"That Gurl"
By: Geoffrey Meade

When she smiles without a doubt,
It`s harder to tell her what i`m about
Like when the wind blows
And it`s just a gentle breeze
I feel as if i can’t let her go
I don’t beg with a "baby please"
I hope it`s not LOVE
That`ll only push her away
But damn she is beautiful like a dove
I don’t care if it’ll be just 1 day
I would try to please her in every way
But i hope i don’t do too much
I’m a nervous wreck, did i throw up my lunch?
I just wanna impress her
I have love 4 her a whole bunch
Like how monkeys love bananas
Hold up! Am i still in my pajamas!?
Man i`m nervous as hell
My heart is beating like a cowbell
Why can’t i tell her how i feel?
I’ll try...but nothing! What’s the deal?
I...i`ll stutter when i try to speak
And when she replies, i can’t think!
My legs get weak...
My posture is getting...neat?
My heart starts to beat, fast!!!
My body gets heavy...
Palms start sweating...
And damn, what was i gonna say?
...I guess tomorrow is another day
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Old 12-09-04, 01:32 PM   #2
~Lady Fiya~
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This poem had excellent imagery... had sum nice content, seemed simple at first but it turned out well................ i wasn't feeling teh line about the pajamas much... but overall not bad at all...
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Old 12-09-04, 06:42 PM   #3
YuNG TiLT
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thanx, i was in the 8th grade, and that was when evry1 wore pajama pants wit sum Jordans or Air Foces, basically a lil trend, but yea. Good looking ma much luv
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Old 12-09-04, 06:54 PM   #4
streetryda
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nice poem man nice imagry and......it was short and sweet......keep it up......i hope to see more fam.........
also post the link in our link thread for our crew so our crew will see it........
return the feed on my poem......
links in sig
peace~1
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Old 12-09-04, 09:57 PM   #5
YuNG TiLT
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4 sho uppin 4 feedback
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Old 12-10-04, 04:35 PM   #6
Raphael
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yeeahhh...i thought it was dope...um work on...nothing..just keep dropping them aiight fam...plus that was in the 8th grade so im sure you can drop something better...im lookin forward to our collab wit Franklin...pz..

~1~
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Old 12-10-04, 08:39 PM   #7
YuNG TiLT
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hell yea mayne tha collab is going to be off tha chain!!!

uppin 4 feedback
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Old 12-12-04, 12:48 PM   #8
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damn

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No feed 4m no 1??
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Old 12-17-04, 04:46 PM   #9
YuNG TiLT
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Dont sleep on this plz

drop some feedback
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Old 12-19-04, 06:07 PM   #10
YuNG TiLT
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I got 42 views and 8 replies

Dont sleep on this plz! If u want more of me, then let me kno wat u like and dislike!

Holler
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Old 01-20-05, 09:32 PM   #11
BiG WhiztlEr
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From: im 4rm dat killafornia $ac town come over and get a lil ta$te of thiz 9 1 $icne$$ the land where $crap$ get put on their back$
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hey my nigg u know who thiz stoner be nice work imagery nice
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Old 02-25-05, 07:24 PM   #12
Ma$fit
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From: DETROIT IN DIS BITCH!!!
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yeah...dis is iight my nig...im feelin it...case closed
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Old 02-27-05, 03:07 PM   #13
YuNG TiLT
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good lookin ya'll
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Old 03-08-05, 01:00 AM   #14
thaend4ya
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Man That Poem Is Dope But Im Not Puttin It Down Or Nuthin But It Almost Seems Like A Play.........anyway Keep It Up Man Its Cool
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