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Middle Weight
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journal of a poet
IP:
another story... another day... another page...
a new book... of emotions... happiness... joy... and fear... a new book... . full of my life... full of my memorys and tears... i stare at this pad... with a pen in my hand... thinking damn... where do i begin... and where do i end... do i start with the memories... or the misery... of why my heart hurts so much... it feels like im losing touch... with everybody that i love... there are no more hugs... where you think most mothers are happy... mine doesn't believe me... no faith at all... my step pop wants to kick me out on my ass... how the hell am i suppose to smile and laugh... when everyday i wonder if im goin to have a place to rest my head... my heart pauses like it stop beating... i think im dead... everyday my prayers are spoken... i wonder if there heard... lord... are you listening... or am i just saying these words... another story... another day... another page... a new book... of emotions... happiness... joy... and fear... a new book... . full of my life... full of my memorys and tears... my tears... flow like a river from my eyes... lord why... why does it feel like i have to cry... why does it feel like i'm really dying inside... im just another poor soul wasting my life... i've tried so hard... to get where i am at... but to people are suppose to care it wasn't enough... like im just another poor soul who has ran out on her luck... i feel so dumb... for even trying... my entire life a lie... my goals... my hopes my dreams... have all died... all cause of the ones who loved me from birth... it hurts to find that your mother... really has no love... that in her own daughter she really doesnt trust... my own mother... in this woman... she does trust... over her own flesh and blood... so am i wrong in saying in this heart there is a feeling of no love... its just... fuck it... fuck love... another day... another page... filled with love... anger... and rage... happiness... joy.... but more sorrow then hate... another story... another day... another page... a new book... of emotions... happiness... joy... and fear... a new book... . full of my life... full of my memorys and tears... |
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