|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-02-05, 01:28 AM
|
#1
|
||||
|
Stone Basement
IP: 8A17 F701
This is just something i wrote not to long ago.....Enjoy
. . Heartfelt Pain doesnt describe the words im tryina say, The sorrow in ma heart stabs me like this pen on this day, This seige of emotions like water takes me under, I need some relese to wake up from this slumber, And it forms into a frozen siege of sorryness for me, My self-confidence lowers into a hellish being, I disgrace me, So ashes to ashes and dust to dust, I blast myself wit ma self disgust, With ma mouth i bust----this pitty, In this place i call ma city, I wanna die let me, Ima stain on a dirty rug, As i wait for deaths hug, I feel this reflection of pain, Blocked by self sadness cause ima stain, My brains a broken peice of glass and i cant refrain, All i see is confusion, I wanna wake up from this illusion, Cause i feel like im downing, This depressions got ma head under water im drowing.... . . now i know the structure is off pretty bad but if you know poetry like i do it doesnt matter.....thanks for reading..........peayces |
||||
 
|
|
|
05-10-05, 05:13 PM
|
#3
|
|||||
|
Cuz I'm Old Skool Baby
|
IP: 042E 9E4C
aaaw this is really sad! lol
This seige of emotions like "water" takes me under, I need some relese to wake up from this slumber, Cause i feel like im downing, This depressions got ma head under "water im drowing...." ^^^I like this water imagery its real good, plus those were great finishing lines.. lot of emotion goin on, structure does kinda help a poem tho, but urs was kinda erratic, kinda adds to the eratic feelings of depression and those thots! I duno, jus what i think lol
__________________
This is my sig. what? I'm white so u KNOW i can't rap =) I will definitely RTF if u leave a link, thanks! |
|||||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
