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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-25-05, 06:55 PM
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#1
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Flyweight
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Captain Bush
IP: 1D78 B378
A little somethin I wrote in my RB days..
An age where darkness ruled...sinister with commotion Thousands of bodies were left ministered in the ocean Showing no notion of love... nor any signs of respect Cloaks torn by bones, leaving blood stains on the neck Of a hectic maniac, a man who had power over seas Believed to be seen... only bringing men to their knees A mutiny had arisen, his power grew to a sinister stage Caged by his own ambition - thrown to a watery grave Some say: he went insane before hitting the corel floor Core strength was flooded - captain caught in a moral war Fourteen hundred other soldiers, hands on their swords Swore to protect their crew.. fighting amoungst hoards More men were established as brave, they became feared And they were tossed to the ocean, not tasting the tears Of the family that abandoned them - it's happening today Some say: Bush is brave. But we'll find out another way. He'll become feared, there will be a mutiny truely, i sigh it But if the ocean breathes salty....George Bush is a pirate. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2110741 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2110749
__________________
-O.G-
 Only way out now...is in a box.
Last edited by l i n e . : 04-25-05 at 07:06 PM. |
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04-25-05, 07:49 PM
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#2
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
haha, this was cool......good relation and nice fuckin' flow yo, haha, overall, it was a great piece, vivid imagery, not too much emotion though, i thought, but still a kick ass piece........OG'S.....YAY!
keep up
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-25-05, 10:07 PM
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#3
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Flyweight
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IP: CA08 0F69
up.........................
__________________
-O.G-
Only way out now...is in a box.
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04-26-05, 10:52 PM
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#4
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Flyweight
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IP: 27CC 8A8B
upping for feed
__________________
-O.G-
Only way out now...is in a box.
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04-30-05, 12:51 AM
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#5
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Flyweight
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IP: 0AA7 732B
upping for feedback because mothercfuckersss sleeep
__________________
-O.G-
Only way out now...is in a box.
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04-30-05, 01:07 AM
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#6
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
This was an iight peice...
You had nice structure.. good feeling.. and nice flow...you had nice flow...that really made your verse..really stand out.. You had nice imagery... It was an iiight drop... could have been alot better.. Next time try to use alittle more emotions.. and try to grab the concept alittle more..
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The Competition
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05-03-05, 09:46 PM
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#7
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Flyweight
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IP: 4C0C EFF8
probably shouldnt up this after so long, but eh
but thanks to mr bones, appreciated
__________________
-O.G-
Only way out now...is in a box.
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05-03-05, 09:55 PM
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#8
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cant mess wit Succes one of the best in the midwest
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IP: 2348 E753
this was a hellaz tight ryme 8/10 nice flow r u makin fun of gwb or is a pirate a good thing cuz we wnt to war and we'll find out in the long run
ne wayz leave feed on my shit......................... http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=189165 |
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05-03-05, 10:02 PM
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#9
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Flyweight
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IP: 4C0C EFF8
it was written shortly after the re-election of bush and it was comtemplating a civil war between supporters and non-supporters due to the war..
__________________
-O.G-
Only way out now...is in a box.
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05-03-05, 10:19 PM
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#10
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Light Weight
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IP: 010B 4537
ye this wuz very tight, you had a good use of vocab, this sounded more like a poem but still you had a very nice flow...you got the skillz dawg, and I go wit bones in this one, you have to try to get the concept a lil' more
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