whoa, very nice. this is deep. i like the topic name. different.

The stars shooting merrily, falling eagerly... verily...
eyes closing slowly as he maintained hisself, barely.
The broad expanse, perhaps perturbed by a chance,
perkily defying the line between the cans and cants.
^^^whoa, now this is some nice form of wordplay. i like the deepness of this. showed a line of emotion upon emotion.

"The stars that shine," whispered the voice."All mine,
the glittering jewels depicting my form on my shrines."
He paused,"Loopholes exploited through the clause...
and the autumn leaves...
the autumn leaves that fall.
^^^man, this is intracate emotion. i love how this is put. nice stuff hear. nice lines. good use of repitition.

"My domain, erected through my works and my pains,
each piece falling, constricting me in the linked chains."
His eyes shut firmly, orbs that so strangely turned me...
"Each despicable act, eroding me like all the worms be.."
^^^DEEP DEEP DEEP. im speechless on this piece. i cant really find the rite words for this piece.

His still body shifted, the midnight, razor-wings so lifted
swiftly, controlled by the descending angel, who's so gifted.
"The demons who maul, crushing me in their greedy claws
burn the autumn leaves...
the autumn leaves that fall.
^^^NICE, good ending here, you led the reader rite up until the end, and left them ponderin. this was nice. keep ur head up.