Confessions

Well I was brought up never to steal, never to Lie
Persuadin to consider, life pulls fates lever to Cry
When I was a kid, I looked up to my dad Always
But when I turned a teen, I caught his dealin Days
My uncle built a bunk bed, so my dreams sunk Dead
But knowin him, confusion made him a drunk Head
I caught him countin, later night I opened it to See..
So I opened it, I was astonished, wantin to Plea
I seen it was more then 50 pounds, I lost my Mind
Unable to rewind time, visualizin such ones eye Find
So I took a few grams, hid it all in a lays chip Bag
The next day, after school I sold it with a quick Pay
Right on 4/20, impossible my dad didn’t Notice
Only 1 person owin me, I felt without a hint Hopeless
3 days after that day, I smoked for my first Time
1 year passin me by, it felt much like a cursed Chime

Soon I started to see such arguments, it forced Pain
My mother and father, fightin for divorced Shame
So they got divorced, now it’s a dispute for the Kids
I wanted to live with dad, but moms sayin it’s a Fib
So I leave, rollin up my sleeves knownin I wont Hold
My decision is correct, my mission so I don’t Fold
Stuck in reality, askin Christ when do I win Mentality
I live the passion to suffer, feelin the sin Mortality
But never immortality, considerin I cant run Away
My dad tellin me, education is the key for fun Today
Takin all I can as advantage, never to abuse Sabotage
Feelin hopeless, takin all factors to refuse Camouflage
Askin a life question, never to suggest such a Quest
I sever a wish, askin for help with my family Request
To believe my message, to understand I ask Truth
My confession of being involved, believin as a Youth

I cant stop the fights, to much arguing with my Mom
Self destruction, an eruption, explodin its own Bomb
My own selfish thought, arguin creatin my own Steam
But brothers get annoying, now when I’m known Mean
Understandin I messed up, I begin to lose Control
Knowin my dad aint got the money to choose Parole
Confuses me, mesmerized and so frozen I’m Petrified
But I feel stuck in a illusion, feelin more self Glorified
Without one excuse, I ponder why was my dad Fired
Then why was he hired?, beginnin to feel a tad Tired
I take time to idealize, would I gain if I’d Realize..
Fortune and fame, when marijuana makes me feel Lies
Now that my uncle smoked it with me, I want to Quit
Even when it makes me relaxed, my vision goes Split
I asked my uncle to tell my dad, so they shared 2 Drinks
In the middle of the night, my uncle dared to Think
So he told my dad, I smoked a few joints with Him
My dad stuck, mad yet happy, he understood Within
At home the next day, complex yet his checks Say..
We on welfare, why he poor, so I stay back and Pray
I might not live in the projects, I scramble for Subjects
But haters gotta say shit, so I look for proper Objects
Now that my dads knows, its awkward how I cant Stop
Him sayin, fuck the hip hop, yet god wont grant Top

As I say peace to all who misjudged me, I find Frustration
Always behind temptation, I aint afraid to mind Salvation
The aggression of my wish, the fetus to feel and Receive
To always feel relieve, in belief so I begin to Achieve