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Old 10-17-05, 07:29 PM   #1
El Taco
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Abyss of Hope

IP: AEE8 69E1

the swirling radiance, tempting ambition
infinite wisdom, yet theres no on to listen
it takes only an instant, to create perpetual motion
but it seems like eternity, deciding those discretional notions
and with all the conflict, theres little to encourage
i loathe growing up when im just eager to flourish
its food for thought, yet im not quite nourished
and i wont die in peace until i get down and worship?
the confusion engulfs you, replacing your concious
you'll never get a chance unless your draped with sponsors
representing a portion, which only speaks for itself
burning through overnight idols, to fuel their hell
and all for the well? nah, this pattern is frequent
all the garbage out there is derived from the very same sequence
you can't tell whats right or wrong, just trust in bliss
dreamers never were successful, without that lust to wish
but prepare for a spiral: accompanied by storms, clothed in mist
its your existence, wheather or not you survive in hope's abyss
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yeh, keyed up, no one goes in the other section
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Old 10-17-05, 07:31 PM   #2
Macca
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its dope kid. just using to many big words can confuse the reader but it sounds good but what you want the most is people to understand what your saying when you write. I mean its allright to be complex but you know take it down a knotch when dealing with writing emotional pieces or shit like that. smell me?
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Old 10-17-05, 07:39 PM   #3
El Taco
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uhhm, what did you have trouble with, and why would i kick my intelligence down a notch?
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Old 10-17-05, 07:52 PM   #4
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I just told you man. jeez. its intelligance but people sometimes won't understand. lol
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Old 10-17-05, 08:37 PM   #5
El Taco
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basically you told me stupid people dont understand words larger than 5 letters, word.
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Old 10-17-05, 09:10 PM   #6
Kawn Flixx
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Drop two link or this will be closed
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Old 10-17-05, 09:52 PM   #7
El Taco
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Old 10-18-05, 08:41 AM   #8
El Taco
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bump...........
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Old 10-27-05, 12:46 PM   #9
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bitches.
...........
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Old 10-27-05, 05:05 PM   #10
Defined
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meh this was an aight peace...topic was pretty original
what i like about it was the vocab it was quite big....but yet still understandable....there was a few spots where you got kinda tempting with big ass words but it was good....i think you need to work on the flow...it seemed choppy in a few spots....also work on imagry...and emotion...paint a picture for the reader....

not a bad peice stay up
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Old 11-16-05, 06:59 PM   #11
El Taco
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freestyle muthas
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Old 11-16-05, 07:52 PM   #12
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Cool and shit..
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