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04-19-06, 04:01 PM | #1 | |||
OYD
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Call me
IP: 64CA 6C26
Call Me some things will always remain true call me nothing but call me an educated nothing if being different means being soft call me soft but call me educated and soft and if ugly is as ugly does call me ugly but call me educated and ugly to the bone someone please pick up the phone because if being myself means being weird call me weird but call me educated and weird. |
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04-19-06, 07:49 PM | #2 | |||||
Out-Spoken
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IP: 676B 9D48
once again..links..i know you leave more feedback than just about everyone besides atticus...but you still need links...i'll leave feedback after i see that
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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04-27-06, 04:06 PM | #3 | ||||
New to RV
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IP: F5DE B3AF
I like it.. its simple... but still complex... cause u stayed with ur subject... but every piece led to something else... that tied it all together... good drop
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04-28-06, 12:05 PM | #4 | ||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 9315 9073
I really like this....i mean its real deep....lol.....call me educated...nice though keep doin ya thang boo...1
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It's hard being beautiful but some one has to do it |
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04-28-06, 06:10 PM | #5 | ||||
Can u guess 2v's Gender?
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IP: BF7D 522F
its simple but good.
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05-04-06, 04:21 PM | #6 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: BF9E D00A
You lonely or something?.. hmmm Anyway I like this though it was crazy sort... the point was repeated often and thus drilled into the minds of teh readers... there no guess work on this one it's pretty up front... and though I usually like fairly vague poetry this one was pretty decent... respects given... 1
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\....../ \..../ \../ A.I. Spilled Inc. |
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05-04-06, 11:34 PM | #7 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
nothing complex about your rhymes damn man you can't even write a complete bar look man you must elevate fast don't let nobody pull your legs this was not good at all homey maybe for a comedy newspaper or something try and write some real stuff reach deep now alot folks won't like it but fuck them just do your thing feel me?
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05-08-06, 03:26 PM | #8 | ||||
OYD
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IP: 2B7A 2084
Quote:
I didn't write this with any poetic structure in mind...just wanted to express how I felt. 1 |
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05-08-06, 03:41 PM | #9 | |||
1926
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Hm, pretty basic, but as you said it was a vent/rant type of piece so those are usually alittle ruff around the edges. I dont know, I really would have like to have seen alot more said... It wasn't even that the structuring was basic, but the content was also extremely simplisitic in the sense that, with the repeating lines and the 4 or so lines of filler it read almost like a childs story. I know it was only a rant but still, there are alot of creative angles you could take to aproach this and describe your feelings. So, not sure if you're just stopping by or are getting into poetry for the long haul, but if you end up writing again try and just think creativily about how you can say whats on your mind... Because originality and individuality in poetry is a huge thing.
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