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Old 08-10-06, 03:34 AM   #1
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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One Way Ticket To Hell

IP: 2029 97B3

One Way Ticket To Hell

The wind blows through the demons hair
as it seeks out prey above a rock on the cliff
silently groaning was his stomach of terror
awaiting a poor youth to stumble and slip

taking you to an eternity of torture and pain
suffering for nasty harsh sins which were committed
do you remember? the depression of blood stains
evil laughter's of comedy for the crime you did

well lets be reminded with chains in a firing pit
hearing you cry, trying to lie screaming ''i aint did shit''


while corpses swim up to your ankles from the lava
pulling you in deeper, as the skin melts but not your soul
they Fein for new flesh, to play with for ever
don't worry Danny you don't grow old, it never gets cold

sweating, get used to it while we throw darts at your head
tormenting your life like the others, except it's you instead

''he closes his eyes, attempting to wake up from this nightmare
.....clutching his fists
he slowly opens them, (Lucifer waves -Danny 'were right here')''

this isn't a dream boy, where's your valor
it's cowards like you in life i adore
what's wrong, your scared aren't you?
..........well your in hell kid
sorry to alarm you


links
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=233217
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=233227
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Last edited by V a L o R : 08-10-06 at 03:39 AM.
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Old 08-12-06, 02:48 AM   #2
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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come on peeps...leave feedback
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Old 08-13-06, 03:21 AM   #3
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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feedback plz...
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Old 08-20-06, 12:41 AM   #4
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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upp
upp
u guys are wack
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Old 08-21-06, 08:36 AM   #5
Critic
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Sup Valor

I liked this bar:
sweating, get used to it while we throw darts at your head
tormenting your life like the others, except it's you instead

I thought it was pretty dope, had to read it a few times coz
it was like dam !! mainly this bit,...
while corpses swim up to your ankles from the lava
pulling you in deeper, as the skin melts but not your soul
they Fein for new flesh, to play with for ever
don't worry Danny you don't grow old, it never gets cold
Sick !!

And the close well your in hell kid sorry to alarm you !! dope.

This was a really good read dope word play, stay up V

1~
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Old 08-22-06, 03:33 PM   #6
Ysdat
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ayo this is good bro, felt it. Nice emotion and good concept. Get at me.
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Old 08-23-06, 10:06 PM   #7
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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word thanks guys.
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Old 09-02-06, 12:39 PM   #8
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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upping for feed....aint this shizz dope
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Old 09-04-06, 09:48 PM   #9
Dufflebag Boy
why so serious!!??
 
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lol this was defintly original

damn ya'll wassup wit these dark rhymes about devils and shit
i think rv is on some kinda evil shit or sumthin nowadays

flow was decent...lyrics could be upped but they aint the most basic rhymes i seen
the interest level was 50/50 had my attention for some of it and some it didnt
but overall not bad u should make sumthin like this on audio

id give this a 7/10 keep elevating
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Old 09-06-06, 04:52 AM   #10
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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word thannnksss
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Old 09-09-06, 02:56 AM   #11
wiley d
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i think it was ok ,i also think you would have to be in poetry to understand half the things you were saying (or crazy)or into that kind of wierd shit
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Old 09-10-06, 02:26 AM   #12
Valor
A Reflection Of The Past
 
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^^^^^dude its story telling...u dont need to be a poet or anything to understand...its commen since and being able to read

lol be that wasnt feed thanks for wasting my time
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