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Old 02-25-03, 08:16 PM   #1
Zero0ne
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Read my rap and critisize me.....

IP: 5797 CEB5

i'm on the rhyme 24/7 feeling alive
time to lay down fly shit
That might make ya sick
lyrics that'll stick to the side of your ribs
Give it 100% dawgg, never quit
i'd like to ryhme,i'd like to spit
but my minds stuck
felling fucked musta been
That Fuckin bacardi rum
Drank too much
Time ta blow another spot
How bout in the parking lot
Mc battlin, procedures for winning
Never quit rhyming
till you quit breathing
Feeling good might as well
Take a chance at winning
Dj keep that record spinning
i don't deal in circumstance
Just in battlin rap, is it a fact?
Hell yeah,writing rhymes,
and wearing backwards caps
Keep a mic in my pocket just in case
Zero0ne has to come and Tear up the place
it's a fucking lyrical race, i gotta keep pace
Either that or get left in the dust
Time ta bust 2 fully loaded nutz
Rap till i'm dead, hell i got the guts
Suppose it's the end of my rhyme
Post some replies and let me know if i did alright

Last edited by Zero0ne : 02-25-03 at 08:31 PM.
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Old 02-25-03, 08:25 PM   #2
Konfusion
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IP: 5153 3B92

Seems hard to keep up with...try putting it on audio, I need to hear what it sounds like. Hot concept tho, seems inspirational. Nice verse tho, keep writin...

Last edited by Konfusion : 02-25-03 at 08:28 PM.
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Old 02-25-03, 08:39 PM   #3
C-Section
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IP: 872B E5DF

you need alot of work this is to simple, try to make the lines longer and maybe some multisyllable rhymes work on your flow
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