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Old 02-28-03, 10:45 AM   #1
MeNTiLL
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~ResT-LesS-NesS~

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Sumtimes I sit and think about mankind bein' extinct
U can miss sumthin' if U blink, Thoughts travel thru ink
Finger tips turnin' pink, From friction of lonely stormy nights
Cuz I bite my nails and stare at tha wall, waitin' to write
I like tha word "I might", cuz it doesn't have tha guarantee
Empaired U see, Scared of tha man in tha mirror who stares at me
Apparently that's all he does, So there's no way to escape it
They tell me that Im 'posed to have a bond wit him, Imma break it
Fear can never fake it, Seems like my worst ones can read my mind
I need 2 find, Tha ability that will soon help me read between tha lines
Cuz Im blind to tha depths of deepness, I usually only give a glance
Unable to advance, So Im askin' Satan if he would like to dance
To small to fit my pants, Tryin' to achieve goals that are impossible
Death is certain, Life is optional, Dependin' on how U deal wit tha obsatacles
My infected opticals sees things that leave scars in my cerebrum
Goals, Hard to achieve 'em, I tell ya'll my life stories but don't expect ya'll to believe 'em.....


This was juss a 10 minute key.....blah....
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Old 02-28-03, 06:39 PM   #2
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The battle of self... deep... and for a 10 min. key it wasn't that bad...
The worldplay and rhymes where pretty descent, flow was aigth...
vocab was descent, your topic ain't boring so it makes it more interesting to read... you started off pretty well I think, but then the energy of it sort of fell off a bit... thas my opinion...
Peace
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Old 03-01-03, 12:40 PM   #3
Narcicyst
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that shit was tight i like the topic it rhymed nice too i really liked this rhyme...one
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Old 03-01-03, 01:36 PM   #4
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quite liked this, your rhyme scheme was perhaps a little basic but your content was nice, it was a nice topic and you had some nice metaphors and imagery in there, i really liked the line about the man in the mirror.......good effort
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Old 03-01-03, 02:41 PM   #5
ace
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nice rhyme good vocab but i couldnt find a flow. seems like it switched up every few barz. good shit
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Old 03-01-03, 02:45 PM   #6
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"Unable to advance, So Im askin' Satan if he would like to dance
To small to fit my pants, Tryin' to achieve goals that are impossible
Death is certain, Life is optional, Dependin' on how U deal wit tha obsatacles"

those were tight for a key
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Old 03-03-03, 08:00 AM   #7
MeNTiLL
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Thanks for tha replies.....I appreciate them......Uppin.....Peace
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