i got da feelin fo illin while niggaz killin i'm chillin/ drugies pillin and fillin they systems up to da top of da ceilin/ i come wit original shit dont trip on my shit/ dick ryders tend to slip cuz they girl be doin freaky shit wit ha lip/ lyrikally assassinatin all these fellaz who hatin/ eitha u ratin or statin yo opinion on my rhymes i've composed painstakin/ i ain't takin no credit fo otha niggaz i said it/ i'm individual and original when i'm focused to spit it/ i know i ain't da illest but i spit fo da public to feel it/ no matter if u don't like it i'm a keep droppin don't steal it/ my intuition and ambition of spittin flow wit precision/ like geometric measurements alwayz a careful decision/ freestyle out of my mind i might fumble sometimes/ might get wild in some of my rhymes but i'm humble at most parts of my lines/ i know my flow might not reach yo capability and standards/ but i only drop it fo my individual desire not fo da fame or awards/ it would be nice if this sacrifice i've made wuz fo a better life/ but on da real da strife is hittin me hard to da chest sharp like a knife/ neva dependant on anotha nigga cuz he makin his figgaz/ evrybody on a constant move so i stay away from hatin niggaz and diggaz/ since elementary i tried to envision a picture of a richer/ much better time in my mind it's jus a scripture/ am i destined fo greatness or doomed to be on the bottom of honor/ life is a constant battle productive actions leave behind rewarding a goner/ if i could reword some of the absurd things that have came out before/ i don't think i'll take that chance because from mistakes we learn more/

when it's ova it's ova but i'm a go down like a souljah/ i ain't a gangsta but like highlander i gotta keep my head on my shoulda/ metamorphic styles wit similes and rhymes/ is wut some niggaz spittin i ain't trippin i'm rippin an original style/ plain and simple's how i keep it while these fellaz is creepin/now i'm seekin they get bust like a pimple blood is leakin when they peepin/ mysterious deaths when they sleepin evil lurkin and comin/ got em scared and runnin these killaz gunnin and stunnin/ personally flashin jewels wuz neva me it ain't cool/ keep on blingin wit yo platinum end up a victim of a murda tool by da crew/ tell me what cha gone do u rep yo crew and keep it tru/ but da realest niggaz roam alone wit no fears cuz when it's all ova and through/ only one man can judge from da heavens above/ i don't give a fuck bout da rest if yall ain't showin me love/

uppin fo response. yall think my flow improvin.

Not Bad. I can't say your flow has improved cuz I don't think I've peeped your shit before but I got you a couple pointers on presentation of you verse. Don't write it all like a paragraph after each line press enter and space them out. The flow was pretty good to me but it threw me off on how you had it in paragraph form. Space it out and it will much improve you replies AND your flow even though you didn't change the flow... lmao... since this is text the flow all depends on how people read it.

pz

it was pretty good, vocab was the best part, your flow was alright but fell off now and then.. try and space out the bars better all you gotta do is press enter.. it might help the flow if people could read it more fluently... peace

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yeah I used to post them like this... I still do sometimes, like a paragraph... and yeah I got critiques on it too... but since I posted them like this I didn't have a hard time reading it... although that bar form does make it easier... I took their advise...
Yo dawg, I thought the flow on this was nice, specially at the begining... then it did go on and off... content was straigth, vocab was exeptional... lol... hot shit man... good wordplay too...

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The joint was aight... I was feelin' it though. The only thing I got ta put out there, is the way it was written. Like in paragraph form, that makes the thread hard to read for me. I don't know about the other cats, but that may be a universal thing... just try an' put it like it's a rhyme, that would help a lot.

aight i got yall. i didn't think it would be hard to read cuz i put a slash fo all the rhymes ( / ) but i got where yall comin from. thanks fo da pointers yo.

okay.. mayne i was feelin that alot i liked it nah mean,flipped some hot barz in it some nice ass lines for real keep doin you for mayne, WATER

yo broadway-kid i can battle but i don't know how to do it on this site

This is a pretty good piece.The vocab was tight,but the flow was
alright.Overall I like this piece man.Keep on shinning playa.

thanx fo da comments. i appreciate fo real yo.

i liked this one... gotta agree with domain.. use that enter key... otherwise another dope one to chalk in the records... keep rhymin

GOD DAMN IT PRESS ENTER ASSHOLE nah just playin

i read it fine guess im not dislexic like everyone else,just playin ..maybe .. thought it was straight... nothin spectacular but good none the less.... keep it up

uppin fo response ^^^. keep it real yall