yo i kno im new in this game, numba one aim is fame,
bettr peep my lyrics carefully, otha cats is lame,
my style is always changin, you'll neva see tha same,
so this is how i do it, lets get right down to it,
you had your chance to lyrically dance, but nigga, u blew it,
before you spit your "rhymes" at me, make sure to thorougly chew it,
all these lines im spillin out, try not to misconstrue it,
so i'm here lookin for a battle, some new cages to rattle,
like a cowboy rustlin cattle, leave u robbed blind, with only a saddle,
but no horse under you, so your stuck, outta luck,
on the street corner, beggin for a buck,
your like a sitting duck, but instead of quackin you cluck,
i stay strapped, representin MY H-Town (Hollywood) to the fullest,
aint got a gat? dont come around, leave you on the ground, riddled with bullets,
iont gangbang, but if you fuck me with me, its you whose gonna hang

yea, any feedback is much appreciated. and anyone who wants to be my first battle, feel free to holla.

ey, could someone gimme some criticism or anythin bout this flow? i really need to kno what to change, what to keep, what to do, to get better at this. much appreciated

.....uppin...

As you said..Your new, which somewhat reflects in your rhymes. You do have a lot to work on, but no doubt, keep on rhymin, and I can tell you right now, you've got potential. You've just got to want it (to be better) and work for it. No matter what others say, keep on trying, keep on rapping. If you want some pointers and shit, go to the Wackness Emergency Center theirs a lot of good pointers in there.

"you had your chance to lyrically dance, but nigga, u blew it,
before you spit your "rhymes" at me, make sure to thorougly chew it, "

That was good^ Keep on writing,

dis waznt dat bad i guess,flowed consistantly but lakked stability,but waz an aiight proformance,stay up,1

p.s.
i'll battle w/ u,im still pretty new myself,holla

yeah like self said you do have potential but like 99% of the new people on here... you spit about all this gangster stuff...
"aint got a gat? dont come around, leave you on the ground, riddled with bullets"
you got potential... try voicin your opinion on a topic... keep rhymin

basic and boring... keep tryin...