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Old 04-03-03, 04:17 PM   #1
shorty0069
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Tears

IP: 66BE 210B

Watch as this tear falls into empty space
See it fall into life's nameless place
Can you see the sparkle as it catches the light
That sparkle once was happiness that is no longer in sight
As it falls watch it, its color has changed
From blue to bright red, it has a wide range

There it goes all alone, it continues to fall
With it, it takes the emotion, the emotion of all
Wait, can you hear it? A sob has broke free
Has shook the lungs cold, but yet it continues to be
Here it comes, a force has been built between the eye
A wall of shear water, it's now time to cry

A shudder, a scream, darkness envelops your soul
The darkness of the night has taken its toll
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Old 04-04-03, 10:05 PM   #2
SmoothCrmnl
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this was good...i could sense a vagueness in your poem...very oblque and nontransparent imagery...fashow
good stuff girl
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Old 04-04-03, 10:27 PM   #3
Xplicit
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im really feelin this, keep on doing ya thing
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Old 04-04-03, 11:11 PM   #4
Av1r3x
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nice drop girl.I aint usually in hea and urs wuz tha 1st i peeped.Ill piece right there.Keep postin,Stay ^
-Avi
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Old 04-06-03, 05:39 PM   #5
Effervescent
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i was def feelin it...
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Old 04-06-03, 06:03 PM   #6
KeVLaR
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nice drop.....

"A shudder, a scream, darkness envelops your soul
The darkness of the night has taken its toll"

^purfect end'n........

keep dropp'n.....................
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Old 04-06-03, 07:27 PM   #7
shiznit
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nice piece..i agree...deep poem..keep onit
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Old 04-09-03, 10:04 AM   #8
*~BaKardii~*
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I'm with errbody else on this...there was certain emptyness in the piece I could feel it just a tad bit ya know....sorta makes you think sometimes....Anyway the piece was very heart felt and emotional nice drop mi'ha
Holler
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