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04-03-03, 04:17 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Tears
IP: 66BE 210B
Watch as this tear falls into empty space
See it fall into life's nameless place Can you see the sparkle as it catches the light That sparkle once was happiness that is no longer in sight As it falls watch it, its color has changed From blue to bright red, it has a wide range There it goes all alone, it continues to fall With it, it takes the emotion, the emotion of all Wait, can you hear it? A sob has broke free Has shook the lungs cold, but yet it continues to be Here it comes, a force has been built between the eye A wall of shear water, it's now time to cry A shudder, a scream, darkness envelops your soul The darkness of the night has taken its toll |
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04-04-03, 10:05 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
this was good...i could sense a vagueness in your poem...very oblque and nontransparent imagery...fashow
good stuff girl |
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04-04-03, 10:27 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 0A08 20B8
im really feelin this, keep on doing ya thing
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04-04-03, 11:11 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 618E 78B0
nice drop girl.I aint usually in hea and urs wuz tha 1st i peeped.Ill piece right there.Keep postin,Stay ^
-Avi |
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04-06-03, 05:39 PM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 1466 7895
i was def feelin it...
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04-06-03, 06:03 PM | #6 | ||||||
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IP: 6BD9 B531
nice drop.....
"A shudder, a scream, darkness envelops your soul The darkness of the night has taken its toll" ^purfect end'n........ keep dropp'n..................... |
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04-06-03, 07:27 PM | #7 | |||||||
Tampons are expensive
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IP: EF0A E7B2
nice piece..i agree...deep poem..keep onit
__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit - - Tampons are still expensive - - That's a Fact - </center> |
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04-09-03, 10:04 AM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: 3AA1 85DF
I'm with errbody else on this...there was certain emptyness in the piece I could feel it just a tad bit ya know....sorta makes you think sometimes....Anyway the piece was very heart felt and emotional nice drop mi'ha
Holler |
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