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07-04-03, 02:18 AM | #1 | |||||||
Registered User
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Cries
IP: 8E44 BF12
"Cries"
i never had so much fuckin pain inside damn why u do me so wrong u kept mah name alive omg i miss u, but picture that look on ya face when u was lookin tha other way.. i wish i would die i cant possibly live another day! all i done for u, u gotta come at me wrong an this aint jus lyrics slapped into a song this is mah pain an sorrow commin outta my heart tha heart that bleeds everyday for u, i first heard tha news i didnt know what to say to you.. how could u do such damage to me like that i thought u was special i didnt think u was like that u tore mah heart from my chest stepped right on it smiled at it too guess u havent kept quit honest how u could do this to me and still tell me u love me still act normal and still call me ur lovey?? still hold mah hand still kiss me an hug me?? i cant sleep or eat, breathe another day knowin this said u never give me reason to cry , well now im showin it i didnt think this would ever happen how u kept this from me? said u would tell me everything but i guess u thought "except this" u leavin me i cant ever accept this..u promised me so much how could u be so cruel, now i dont care bout school, i dont care about music, dont care bout life or livin i wish i could take a knife an give in, stab myself twice and stop livin! im cryin this song out, cryin cuz u special to me but i aint specil to u cant live witout somethings esepcially you.. i stay prayin to God hopin that he'll make things better but i cant get to him cant write him a letter.. I just want things tha way they used to be, if not like that i just wanna be a used to be how could u leave such a big bruise in me? I cried out so much, still cryin while im writtin still as im rappin...we was never fightin, so why did this happen?? i was good to u, i was there for u i cared for you/ guess u felt different hada hurt me badly/ and now i got noone cant turn to daddy/ cuz daddy'll just laugh at me, an moms'll say its ok but it aint ok when ur reason to live jus walked away/ dissed me ,cuz of things i was shy or afriad bout i tursted u more than anyone and now im played out u really made me cry like a baby, but maybe that cryin didnt help me, and u hurting me drove me crazy/ i wish i coould wake up form this nightmare an forget it ever happened/ but i guess Dreams DONT come true, cuz damm forever didnt happened/ |
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07-04-03, 03:49 AM | #2 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 30B1 FC90
not bad, the rhyme's seemed to get a little forced but you pulled it off, Can't think of anything else to say
peace
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We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. |
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07-04-03, 07:37 PM | #3 | ||||||
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IP: 8229 A4FA
^^^i agree....the rhyme does feel a lil forced......i liked it though because of your emotion.....you stayed focus....and not all poets can do that.....you also had a lil imagery.....this was good
Last edited by Savory : 07-04-03 at 07:40 PM. |
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07-05-03, 01:38 AM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 837C B7F6
lines ..
cryin cuz u special to me but i aint specil to u cant live witout somethings esepcially you.. ^ i liked the way those lines floweed, it was a lil rough on the outside, btu the emotion was felt, its one of those things u just get off ur chest, im sure if u went back n reviesed it could be sumthin real nice, it was pretty good thou respect |
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07-05-03, 06:15 AM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 4F2B 4EA2
Raw...
... emotions were raw...one could feel what you were saying most definetly... ..though delivered in an at times rigid and simplistic way...it didn't matter...cos to me thios seemed more like a venting piece of sorts...just letting rip onto paper/screen... ...enough said.. ..resp... |
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07-07-03, 01:06 AM | #6 | |||||||
Registered User
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IP: 8E44 BF12
good looks ya'll yea its when mah love left me :/
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