Once open-hearted/
but soon tarnished/
while the wrong directions of love, emotion currents twisted and convoluted/
Despair finds a home in the heart, leaving feelings torn, to scene confusing/
hurtfull feelings of loss, coping with losing/
in an atheist's mind, broken hearts are only for God's amusement/
but then her attractiveness/
led to attachments in/
an empassioned sense/
and what was then/
has worsened since/
tricks, shrouded all too often in love's mist/
then drift and drip/
subtle pleasantries from open lips/
and unions made in physicallity like A Shakespearaean Tradegy/
leaving not the lovers but the love slain/
no feelings, like oral crevices filled with novacain/
numb to love games played inside of Cupid's aim/
and she had never shown love/
simply because, she had never, ever known what love was/
her blatent promiscuity a necessity/
even though, objectionably/
she could've lived more way respectively than only sexually/
friendships, bonded with kinships/
switch to relationships/
as she lays vulnerable in her own mind's nakedness/


her heart was a sea of painfull memories/
-a sea with no water, feelings to remain empty her heart was a sea of trouble and turmoil/
-a sea of flowers murdered, when plucked from rich soil her heart was shattered and broken/
after tender words, never proven true were once spoken/
ulterior motives were served, heart strings tugged, broken, and eventually were cast to the curb/
and only enough passion in fleeting moments was ill-earned/
ecstacy, and pleasure, found for both in her most secretive treasures/
a constant search, set forth to recapture, the deep feelings from the first/
a journey into a quest with no end/
never to the same again, though she often layed on her back, looking away to pretend/
her body let many men, wander in, when emotionally she was really saying/
that abandonment hurts/
she went from loving religiously, to a religious convert/
cold, and calloused actions, hid feelings of sadness/
with the advent, of, new potentials for love/
but they never left the ground like broken winged doves/
her lust for solidarity does, corrupt feelings contained in distant hugs/
perhaps it is her fault for being afraid to know love (or maybe its us) her expressions'll tell you that she doesn't care, tidal waves of tears behind her eyes, there's pain there/
a woman used often finds it hard to stay strong its her story that's spawned a million sad love songs


allowed to wander emotionless/
content with good sex, and hopelessness/
love for her is cast into an open abyss/
telling her that she was special in youth, could've prevented this/
now she lays on cold bathroom tiles with slit wrists/
empty bottles of alchohol, and assorted pills, removed destitute times in cheap thrills/
death removed the illusions, to expose things real/
toxic substances turned to for comfort, when she felt like no one had ever loved her/
called a tramp, trollip, scarlet, and whore, never a woman again, not even once more/
this gave her idenity, battered, bruised, and broken in soul/
in a sick way, being this half of a person, made her feel whole/
her life lacked control, zero stability, mentally, made her hard to console/
a series of ships passing in the night, left wreckage of a human when seen in the light/
she drowned in her own sorrow, maybe she did it for the attention of a love she might know tomorrow/
a note on the mirror written in red lipstick, spoke of her grave intent, anguish, heartache, emotional fatigue/
for her I feel pain, for her my soul bleeds/
I'm analytical of the whole thing, as the first person to arrive on the scene/
visually this offers very few clues to me/
in a sense this end left her life incomplete/
wanting love, she gave of herself freely, in manners that were indescreet/
so I'm left trying to discover what this means/
so on this paper I've scribbled down the whole note, and it reads...

"I cried as I watched you walk away and I begged for you to stay I love you was all you had to say I accepted you and the games you had to play today is the final day now you can watch me walk away"

much love, much life
KnightShade.

__________________
LowerTown's Finest