this is long, but PLEASE read it all, i put my heart into this one

Take My Leave



Im ready to go, i got my bags checked
i didnt forget to buy my ticket, i just couldent take it, this time theres no fakin it, im leavin, ive been yellin forawhile, beggin and pleadin, but my verbal secretions didnt hit ur internal cerebrum, cuz u didnt hear what i said, but now when you wake up, ima be dead, u didnt really think this keystyle was about a trip did ya? im not movin, if thats what you figya'd, watch me pull the trigga, if ur not there ill tape it-for-ya, im not one of gods soldiers, im a civilian in gods uniform for ya, cuz i aspired to be everything u wanted from me, but it wasent enuf, but what u couldent see is inside of me lived a ball of fire, it grew bigger till it erupted, and i retired, from livin the life of an obdiant servant, but now ur readin this, and it scurred ya didnt-it, so im taking my leave of absence from my sons life, sayin good bye to my parents and my wife, ive loved Dani, and the glass pipe, but the time has come to put an end to my strife, this is the 5th installment of my life story set, i wrote 4 more unless you forget, u all loved them and thought it was all fun and games, but when u wake up and im not here, cuz i blew out my brains, youll think twice about the chains, that with held me from acomplishing my dreams [sposed to ryhme dream with chains, accent] and maybee next time youll see the warning signs, of a young husband and father who'll take his own life, lookin down the barrel of a gun, do i have the guts, no if ands or buts i do but do i have bulluts[bullets] so i check twice, to ensure itll take my life, aim between my eyes, and BOOM then its bye bye, like in the werds of layzie bone, " i aint afraid to go"/ well i dont/ got a single thing to live fo', so say ur farewells, cuz im headin to hell, by tommorow my life is reduced to a spent 22 shell
you thought they were only songs, but turns out they wer the monolouges, to a great thinkers life, ended with BOOM like a bomb *< now im floatin to heaven to be judged by god, it aint lookin good, i was branded and then i falled *< right down to the likes of lucifer, but before i go ill give satan a twofer, ill kill Danielle, yea, then ill kill my self, ill shoot us both so we can both go to hell, i only 3 things in life i liked, my son, pussy, and writin ryhmes, this is my last line, its time, that i get on the grind, its str8in up or finally take my life, and only one of them is gunna happin, u will know when u hear my gun snappin, followed by a thud, then itll start to rain blood, all over the floor, all over the rug, itll be gory, but its a perfect end to a story, of a man u didnt live to see forty, he didnt even see 20, hes only 19, but hes seen more shit then anybodee or any one of there E-emcees, im done, and all my pains allevied, im releived cuz i pulled the trigger and took my leave, ***BOOM***



*< where the emotion kept me from heittin better werds to ryhme from, or sumthin like that

in my opinion this ryhme is a masterpeice to the kids out there readin, if you put ur heart into ur werk, noone can denie you the right to call ur ryhmes a masterpeice, in eachone of the installment i put a chunk of my cold iced over heart on it, they r perfect in every way

you should have a symbol to indicate where the bar ends cos that all was kinda confusing!

eg....
Im ready to go, i got my bags checked/
i didnt forget to buy my ticket, i just couldent take it, this time theres no fakin it, im leavin/

yeah?

is this all the veiws i get for puttin my heart into sumthin? come on now uppin

uppin

man thnakyou..i gots to thankyou for this peice,i really really enjoyed reading it.you soundlike youve thought shit like this through before...i felt the subject madly,alot of my friends have taken that route because of the shit we went through and the shit they did to themselves,with their own permission destroyed their own shells...i really felt this peice,was mad tight,fuck the cat talkin bout defining bar lenght you didnt need it with this peice,dont think im rydin or whatever,i dont comment on something i really like like this unless i mean it...bismliiah...hit my shit up sometime on open mic if you get the chance...propz...put this on audio,i beg you...haha....itd be ill

cool dog, as soon as i get an editing system im puttin all 5 installments to this story to audio i gotta test audio done for Addictions but it didnt come out to good, had the glu lol kept coffin my voice was off too, but as for that bitch talkin shit its letter style its not reall sposed to be a song, kinda petic but a beatit sposed to be read thru, letter style, i attepted sicde and put my letter to ryhmes naw mean? shit im uppin this for sum feedback, but mostely veiws

that was a dope piece i liked it but wasnt feelin it quite as much as the other ones..........still dam good
this was favourite lines

and maybee next time youll see the warning signs, of a young husband and father who'll take his own life, lookin down the barrel of a gun, do i have the guts, no if ands or buts i do but do i have bulluts[bullets] so i check twice, to ensure itll take my life, aim between my eyes

i agree though it coulda done with havin dashes to show ends of bars etc but its cool

str8, uppin

uppin'er

uppin

up^^^^^^

nice drop...i read it twice yo...rhyme scheme was tight and the verbals were just crazy off the meat rack...one

Nice drop, something i can truly relate but i'll keep dat on a low down...

The last few lines i liked alot. Really good. Something i could print out and keep on my desk to look at once and a while..
Good work....Uppin for that....