just scribble another rhyme down on the page,
I wrote my muse to her death, now what I need is a sage/
like a Twilight Mage, trying to produce nighttime magic,
those old newspaper clippings, some great and some tragic/
the clock ticks, hopin my mind'll take his own bait,
prayin to God I won't become consumed by my hate/
keep at the debate, arguing about nothing unimportant,
they'll let you out as long as the note isn't in your hand/
rubber band, snap back at me tell me that I'm wrong,
to say anything that's on my mind in this form of a song/
hit the gong, because that mean that the show's over,
survival might take more than a lucky four leafed clover/
blue like grover, too bad his untimely life got cancelled,
but untimeliness can be filled in on 19 different channels/
warm like flannel, but my heart is just growing colder,
maybe the flames will rise as I steadily grow older/
the weight of a boulder, slowly crushes me to the ground,
they're stories, fairy tales, and they say nothing profound/
this is the sound, of oblivion taking you where we havn't been,
unfortunatly our lives are repetition of original sin/

Just letting out whats in my head
Peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

It had a good flow to it try to add more vocab.. OoNnEe

one word: cute
doesn't that piss you off?

yeah, it kinda does, though I asked for it with the grover line...and the flannel line...arg

whatever, thx for the replies

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

Yeah, u suck. That shit was wackling mc wackling the third of worcestershire.

did it not meet your newbie-assed hater standards? chew my nuts

up

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

"just scribble another rhyme down on the page,
I wrote my muse to her death, now what I need is a sage"

I really like that muse line
thats tight
its started off awesome but ended blah
but that happens a lot in these type of rhymes
dont get me wrong i enjoyed it
dont worry bout cocksmoker13
he cant rap for shit when he's chewin ur nuts dogg

word word: elementary, step up
how does that make you feel?

thx 12, and server, if you would stop post whoring for one minute, maybe you could put in a real comment, rather than that "one word:..." bullshit.
peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

yea 12 cent is right, FUCK cocked 13, fo all i kno that means he likes 13 cocks, huh. just like was said before it started out tight, but soon faded toward tha end, u had sum powerful lines at tha beginin, try to come up wit lines like that throgh the whole post, well id like to hear more from u, u'll only get betta, so keep postin , im out

uppin

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

I'd really like some more feedback on this

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis