hey, i'm tryin to elevate my battling skills... I'am sure i've improved to some extent since i've bee here...anyways,

Below is a battle rap i just submited, can u give me some input?

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your battle raps, collapse like cattles hearts/
perhaps you got scraps talent, but your spits/
just relapse my ill-raps, you ain't more than a gallant/
you wack shit just helps elapse, gaps in my endless day/
there trendless, i work hourless to get my shit done/
although i've only just begun, my battle is like a stun gun/
leaving your spit, that has less grit, than a hamburger bun/
you now gonna throw a fit, and commit yourself to this bit/
that you know, is already polished, and ready to transmit/
it's gonna demolish you wack-shit, as luck would have it/
it has already abolished your battle, like a reverse stock split/
before you snuff it, with humiliation, why not just admit/
that your shit, just ain;t cutting it, it's discrimiation/
that i don;t generate congratulation towards your spit/
my determination to win, accelerating my temptation to sin/

i hope your battling a newbie.

if you battling someone try to use things you know about them, online you might want to use there name avatar, or profile and just find shit about them to make them look bad.

and try to make it personal to the person your battling it will make your punches alot better if they are aimed at the person you are battling instead of just a random punchlines.

i know i dont battle here but i actually battle in real life so dont say " oh his record is 0-0 he doesnt know what he is talking about"

you gotta make sure you know what the words your using mean as well dog, like gallant means like virtuous and upstanding, like a knight is gallant, so it doesnt really make much sense in the way you used it.

you dont wanna make it sound like your desperate to make things rhyme, if shit doesnt make sense it'll ruin the whole flow.

also i'd try to use some variety rather than ending like 8 lines with words ending in -it

just my opinion, keep working dog

aight, yeah i can s ee what u r saying, i came up wit this one yestarday - it was a no show. - still probably fueled up wit wackeness though, lol

your battles, uncomplimentary accessary/
hearing them, unnecessary beggary/
buying them, transparent robbery/
seeing you, aberrant hateary/
smokedapot,,
your battles, are collapsing like childs rattles/
your raps, relapsing. like problamatic seattle/
your bars, mapping, out melodramatic sars/
there wack, recapping, raps automatic stars/
blatent attack, snapping, raps charismatic superstars/
latent angelic, unwrapping, dramatic bars/
psychedelic, clapping, about ecstatic parrell bars/
smokedapot,,
you mamma, for that last bit if dignity she fought/
allthough, it was me that brought, her down in the parking lot/
screaming, more often that not, i would'a finshed her off/
but maybe in this rough life, i'm goin soft!/(soft)

any line that isnt a punch = waste
and what myk said