freestyle flava...i spit worse than a slaver
i cut like a knife and slit ur throat like a razor
im like a mic balster...the ultimate rap master
ur just a disaster....crumbling as i speak like weak plaster
this is just a short verse//rehearse my skillz and spit
start pissing and do the opposite
u got tested for aids and they came back positive
this is your journey to heaven..call me hell revisited

this will be fun....
alright heres the run-down....
1. self-glorification is played out like tetris (<<<so is that line)
2. your rhymes arent very original
3. spit on a topic besides how dope you are
4. reply to my open mic because... i want you to...

it was good for a person with 14 posts... but save your funny lines for battles etc etc.... take a look at some of the vets open mics and you'll see what im talking about...

good things about it...
1. You weren't stuck in caps lock like 99% of newbs
2. You can press the enter key unlike most newb
3. You have talent
4. the ending cool...

thats about it! return the favor!

yo i thought it was good keep it up

totally Whack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO it was whack. I have heard EXACTLY (almost EXACTLY!!!) the same verse on about 4 other message boards and I know those people werent you...

^
Newbie input! lol

yeah, dude, don;t try to rap about yourself to much, and if we wanna hear someone rap bout killing people, we'll go over to death row records! (suge shot me, suge shot me,) LMAO

whack as a cracker Jack (hahhahahaha)
non original lines
better wordplay
Better everything

yo keep it up jambo,ur make it