i tried to make it so u could read it how its meant to be said, sort of in three portions for each line, each portion rhymes with its pairs same portion and tha middle portion moving on to be tha first of tha 3rd line and so on. this was my attempt to be complex and still tell tha content i wanted to, tell me if i did

To reach-goals ~ elevation ~ must-occur,
Defeat-holes that ~ on occasion ~ rust-your-words,
All tha devastation ~ of thoughts ~ is our-enemy,
Our imagination ~ contorts ~ with sour-guarantees,
We’ll be distraught ~ imprecise ~ when-we-spit,
And getting caught ~ in-tha-lies ~ envy-writ,
It’d-be-nice ~ if perfection ~ came-easy,
I-despise ~ glut complexion ~ tha games-tease-me,
Tha intersection ~ of-2-worlds ~ idea-and-scheme,
Misdirectin’ ~ untrue-words ~ via-wrong-meaning,
Confused-“verbs” ~ not-“acting” ~ quite-proper,
Misused-by-herbs ~ caught-lacking ~ contrite-offers,
Thoughts-cracking ~ in through ~ tha-multies-and-vocab,
Allot-facts-being ~ construed ~ not-faulty-or-so-bad,
Exhumed-from ~ their grave ~ tha stone pushed aside,
What gloom-on ~ their page ~ when alone with their mind,
Amazed by ~ a chronicle ~ of an unright-life,
Feel tha shockwave of ~ an atomic-pile ~ type-of-device,
Ebonics-filled ~ scriptures ~ of power-and-heat,
And ironical ~ pictures ~ can devour-tha-street,
Listeners get ~ engulfed ~ in tha essence,
Ministers are ~ appalled ~ by tha lessons,
Not called on ~ to preach ~ to their audience,
They resolve to spit ~ great speech ~ and embody-It,
They don’t-teach ~ only paint ~ vivid-scenes,
And outreach ~ to taint ~ wicked-dreams,
Their faint ~ simple-ness ~ is not tha issue,
It’s their disdain and ~ willingness ~ to reach out and hit-you

Ill drop caspah , , ,,,,,, Nice wordplay

nice drop caspah ~! i was feelin it !
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return da favor at my batle ! sway vs the re of chonus ! comon! im winnin 2 - 0

nice drop,i like listening to drops that rhyme the words with syllables exactly while still makin sense and rhyming,its difficult to do i know that....you did it nicely,was your best peice yet caspah,i liked it....

peep my zions post if you havent already...
bismillah

some nice shit man, wicked word play, i felt that shit. kept that shit coming and i keep peeping in

thanx for tha feedback yall, ima peep all ur shit,
still lookin for feedback

nice work man, though the little squiggly things pissed me off(~).
I can see why you wanted them there, to show a clear rhyme scheme, but that kinda took away from the piece. I always find it's better to make a rhyme scheme, then just write the piece normally and see if people catch on. It was a dope scheme though. In terms of content, it was pretty good, though I might have missed some because of the squigglies.
Your multis and wordplay were ill as fuck.

Best lines: (squigglies removed for my sanity)
We’ll be distraught imprecise when-we-spit,
And getting caught in-tha-lies envy-writ,

Thoughts-cracking in through tha-multies-and-vocab,
Allot-facts-being construed not-faulty-or-so-bad
(ill multi^)

They don’t-teach only paint vivid-scenes,
And outreach to taint wicked-dreams,

Keep droppin stuff like this, it's a good read(die squigglies die!)
Peace

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

lol thanx for tha crit son, ill be keepin that in mind about tha squigglies lol
still lookin for feedback

^^^ comon check it

ILLness...
Flowed like a charm...

keep spittin..

it was nice man. the cool thing is if you read the middle lines straight down it all makes sense too - like a whole nother rap. you can read it all the way through or just read straight down the middle. i dug it man, good work. check mine out it's the one called "the world iz flat."

lol it almost does hahaha thats cool never planned that
ill check urs for sure

nice drop 'Webster', lol you had some killer vocab and stayed on point throughout with many multis. understatement may not have liked the squigglies but it was good that you put them or else some cats might have mistaken the flow of it. it sorta reminded me of the verses in 'who we be' (by dmx) dunno if thats what you where goin for but it came to mind while i was readin it

suggestion: instead of squiggles try using commas, that way the reader will still pause. or you can just use periods to space it out ...... like dat. just my 2 cents (you can thank me later understatement) lol

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I tried to rewind time but my hindsight is blind

this was an ill drop yo

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!