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.:.Laura.:.
IP: 24A3 0EF0
Its been 6 months 2 weeks ive been in love
Opening the doors of the cage of the white doves Everyone has it in them its just locked away I never gave up, searched for days and days When it came to me it was unexpected Before my heart was hollow and black Now ive found my goal and my heart is red It bled and bled from feelings unsaid I threw myself around care-free Not knowing what i was soon to be Love at first sight i never thought could happen But my doubts were blissed with the poisened pen It took only seconds till i was sure before i was insecure things were so obscure I would die so she wouldnt feel an ounce of pain This is a whole new game, now i have an infinite flame |
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Light Weight
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IP: 640C 3FBD
Nice. I liked it. This one read like it came straight from your heart.
"Its been 6 months 2 weeks ive been in love Opening the doors of the cage of the white doves Everyone has it in them its just locked away I never gave up, searched for days and days" I don't know why but I liked those lines. The doves part was cool. The 3rd line was good too. "Before my heart was hollow and black Now ive found my goal and my heart is red It bled and bled from feelings unsaid I threw myself around care-free Not knowing what i was soon to be" I like that part cause I've felt like that before. Hollow and black. It's good that you found someone to fill that emptiness. "It took only seconds till i was sure before i was insecure things were so obscure I would die so she wouldnt feel an ounce of pain This is a whole new game, now i have an infinite flame" I liked that part too. The rhyming on it was good. Overall this was a good post. Keep them coming ![]() |
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Guest
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IP: 24A3 0EF0
I agree with Lengendary, was good piece, id quote all n identify but id pretty much write identicle to what ^^ has wrote... its good keep it up, i can relate to it.....
~1~ |
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Guest
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IP: 24A3 0EF0
Thanks ya'll... uppin for more opinions.....
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BANNED
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IP: 24A3 0EF0
same, im agreeing with lengendary on this one, was like it was said from ur heart not thought out just read out..... nice........................
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