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Old 05-12-03, 08:52 PM   #1
deacon
I Am The Light
 
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Heres to the SKY!!!!!!!!!

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Here's to the sky--------
A cheer built with perplexity visual modality to mans eye//
You glide by without a simple term of planning within the midst you bring forth shadows to hide//
Am I unqualified to reprimand an understanding taken between a concrete bases that can hide my disguise
//And for that a billion more//--Gravestones filled with glamour and for the tallest of them all will rectify his stature//--
Popularity is sought even within the last breath--seeking a corner to hide his own perpetual stress--
How much have we earned?
For the allowance of such beauty with even evil intuition we ignore our filial duty--You generate the light despite the measures that add to nothing--But i am not a deserving spectacle to bask in my self-pity--so I’ll perpetuate in infirmary to equal minds thoughts more clearly----


So Heres to the sky--
Something in life that has never asked me, ____?

Alright heres a kicker for all to read--
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Last edited by deacon : 05-28-03 at 07:51 PM.
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Old 05-13-03, 03:41 AM   #2
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uppin
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Old 05-13-03, 03:30 PM   #3
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uppin
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Old 05-14-03, 02:23 PM   #4
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up up and away--im givin up.LOL
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Old 05-14-03, 04:01 PM   #5
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what up folk

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Hey whats up!!! I won't sleep on yo shit..haha...I really liked the openin and the vocab..nice write..much love.
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Old 05-14-03, 05:12 PM   #6
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good drop...nice Imagery deacon...I liked these favs:

But i am not a deserving specticle
to bask in my self-pity-- so i'll perpetuate in infirmary to equal minds thoughts more clearly

the thoughts of a humble man humbled by a creation greater than himself---at least that's what I took from it...peace
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Old 05-14-03, 08:44 PM   #7
deacon
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Linez you said it perfectly man. its basically about a man who realizes the wrong of the world but can't explain why. So he sits and observes life and finds reality only within Nature...

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Old 05-19-03, 09:29 PM   #8
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uppin for theworld

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Old 05-19-03, 10:17 PM   #9
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Nice piece. Reminded me of "I wandered Lonely as a cloud", piece by William Wordsworth i think it was. Same concept. Vivid imagery, thought-provoking bars..nice choice of words, it all fit together well and went nice off the tongue.
Feelin it.
Stay up. pz.
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Old 05-19-03, 11:02 PM   #10
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I can't write a really long response to this one because I didn't quite understand all of it. That's just because of me being an idiot and not this piece.

"Gravestones filled with glamour and for the tallest of them all will rectify his stature--Popularity is sought even within the last breathe"

I did understand parts of it and that one being one of them. That was the part I liked out of if cause it's true. So it was a good post. Good concept from what I picked up out of it and what you said.

I dunno, maybe I should go to some poetry class so I can understand the deeper ones like this? I'm definately missing out not being able to understand all of this one.
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Old 05-19-03, 11:16 PM   #11
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Nicely done!
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Old 05-19-03, 11:23 PM   #12
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Yeah thanks for your thoughts DaGyrlRemarqabL you know im not huge into wordsworth but i have studied him and there is much respect..Legendary--you're most likely not an idiot my stuff is hard to understand for most. This piece makes me feel ridin from all thats wrong with the world. If nature is it's only beauty i'll seek and find the answers with in that. I write poetry only because i feel gratified in doing it. At times i feel i might be deeper than i ought to be but thats just another sad song.Poetry is enlightening---Anybody else get a awesome feeling when you complete a beautiful piece?--great things-great things

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Old 05-21-03, 06:13 PM   #13
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upppin---1
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Old 05-21-03, 09:35 PM   #14
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This is the first time i looked in dis forum that shit was pretty tight
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Old 05-22-03, 03:39 AM   #15
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word--uppin
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