Check in's by Monday
Verses by Tuesday
Voting ends Thursday

Topic...
If you only knew

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checkin in..nice topic..worked in alot of ways....never heard of the otha guy though..ahwell .......................

YEAH GOOD TOPIC..............GOT MAD IDEAS......................CHECK-IN..........................HOLLA................. ..................

three young people diggin up their garden find a small bow....inside the box they find a letter which tells them that if they follow certain simple instructions...they will find treasure

1=yo a dont beleive this is happenin look what weve just found
a little box of history buried in shallow ground

2=this cant be happenin yall i think theres been some mistake
i think we should do what is says though..just incase

3=just incase of what theres nothing there to try to find
if ya think am gonna go along wit this yall outta yo mind

2=looks its worth a shot anyways who knows what well get
and what ever we shall find will be shared...three way split

jealousy and greed set in on the three

1=aight so what we do now a mean do we trust eachother fully
for one of us to take this home and be loyal to us truly
amean they might go out in the middle of the night
although all take it home if yous want...

2=hold up a minute man a think you got a great point
although you just blew yo cover so ama take it back to ma joint
cause atleast all kno where it is and yall kno where i be too
yall kno i wouldnt lie to ya and that i would stay tru

3=yeh but wait a minute what bout me dont ya trust me neither
i think thats pretty upsettin as i wouldnt run of with it either
and as for that shit tht youve just said i think i should be granted
to bury this chest back in its place where it earlier was planted

after much fightin between themselves it is decided that in actual fact they shal re bury the chest and dig it back up the followin day and start their hunt for the treasure


this is unfinished....im at ma gurls and i have to go ill edit it later

three young people diggin up their garden find a small box....inside the box they find a letter which tells them that if they follow certain simple instructions...they will find treasure

David=yo a dont beleive this is happenin look what weve just found
a little box of history buried in shallow ground

Adam=this cant be happenin yall i think theres been some mistake
i think we should do what is says though..just incase

Graeme=just incase of what theres nothing there to try to find
if ya think am gonna go along wit this yall outta yo mind

Adam=looks its worth a shot anyways who knows what well get
and what ever we shall find will be shared...three way split

jealousy and greed set in on the three

David=aight so what we do now a mean do we trust eachother fully
for one of us to take this home and be loyal to us truly
amean they might go out in the middle of the night
although all take it home if yous want...

Adam=hold up a minute man a think you got a great point
although you just blew yo cover so ama take it back to ma joint
cause atleast all kno where it is and yall kno where i be too
yall kno i wouldnt lie to ya and that i would stay tru

Graeme=yeh but wait a minute what bout me dont ya trust me neither
i think thats pretty upsettin as i wouldnt run of with it either
and as for that shit tht youve just said i think i should be granted
to bury this chest back in its place where it earlier was planted

after much fightin between themselves it is decided that in actual fact they shal re bury the chest and dig it back up the followin day and start their hunt for the treasure...later that night graeme gets a call from david who sounds upset

david=yo a really dont trust him anymore a think hes plottin mutaniy
i think we shoul go back to the garden and check up on him...just to see

graeme= a think your a bit deleirous here theres nothing to check up on
although just incase we better go just incase he pulls a fast one
ill be round your in ten aight so keep tight and dont worry
am sure were only paranoid aight but ill come wit you anyway

David and Graeme turn up at the garden where the chest is buried to see a dark figure on his knees pickin up the chest and then realise is is infact Adam

David= A knew it man you back stabbin bastard
a knew i shouldnt have trusted you to wait till tomrrow
you just cant hold it in can you
get up and fuck off before i do stuff a dont wanna do

Graeme= hold up adam now dont get touchy
mabye theres a reason behind this..maybe hes still trustworthy

adam= yeah man come on a wouldnt do a thing so low as that
me runnin away wit all tha money is just plain crap

Graeme= aight a beleive you now can we go home and think about this?

David= a aint leavin witout him with me cause knowin him hed pull some shit

Graeme= fine well go together how yall think that that sounds
well take the letter with us and put the box back in tha ground

the three men take the map bck to the house and start preparing for the hunt

adam= i dont kno bou you guys but am kinda excited
just imagine no ones seen this in years and now itll be reunited
wit sunlight and we'll be rewarded
for findin hidden treause our lifes will all be sorted

Graeme= a just dont want as to lose our heads all over this
i want us all to make a pact that whatever happens we will never split

David= fo sho am in for this all the way man
and i am positive all do whatever a can
to help yall find this treasure whatever it will be
but just dont go plannin any tricky shit to get rid of me

The three of them leave for the treasure ad soon locate he spot where they beleive it is buried and start to dig....

Graeme= i dont think weregettin very far were gettin pretty deep
seems our dreams were nothing but dreams chancces of there being any treasure are really steep

David= just shut up and keep diggin man the longer we talk the less we dig
ive got a feelin were gettin nearer of fuck ma spade just hit

adam=what what? what did it hit did you find it have we got it?
cmon dont play around david a aint got time for this shit

David= yeah ave hit something i aint sure what though
it could be anything so dont be ettin your hopes up yo

th three men fall to their knees and start to frantically throw dirt over their shoulders and soon uncover a big chest which the pull out of the hole and onto the grass beside them..David lunges forward toward the chest

Adam= get the fuck out the way man and let us open it

David=this is my treasure i found it you aint gettin shit

Graeme=dont be so selfish we found it together
whatever is in there is all of our treasure

Adam=get off the chest adam or i might have ta hurt you

David= yeah right man like ta see you try honestly what ya gonna do

Adam pulls out a gun and points it at david

Graeme=woah come on man put that thing away
dont be startin any shit tht can be avoided

David= i found it not him whatevers in that chest belongs to me! its only fair to be pad for the work that i did

Adam= i want ma share thats what a want you aint gonna take that away from me
so get up off your feet and move away or ill shoot you..whats it gonna b

David= fuck your bullshityou aint got the guts ta pull the trigger on that gun
just stop with te hard man shit put the gun away and move on

Adam pulls the trigger killin david on the spot and he then turns on Graeme

Graeme= yo man what ya think yo doin....that shit crazee
i aint don nothin to annoy ya so dont shoot me

Adam= the way a see it if you die now then theres more treasure or me
so a suppose that theres no other way i can see
that i could get the most out of this little excursion
so say your prayers graeme..say hello to yo mom in heaven

Adam then pulls the trigger on graeme and turns to the chest

you are my ticket out of this shit hole
ill be rich and have a big house and be in control
whatever you hold im sure i shall love
you are indeed a great gift from above
my excitements is overwhelming my body
and your all to myself..dont hav to share you with nobody

adam lodges his spade between the lid and the chest and wedges it open but he is surprised with its contents

whats this...a single letter? is it another map
or have i been tricked into a dreadfull hurtfll trap
theres no gold and no jewles of deeds to a mansion
this stuff is bullshit i thought the goods would be handsome
but all i have is a letter and to dead friends beside me
how could i have been so stupid why didnt i see

adam starts to cry as he begins to read the letter

As you find this letter you may think its ubsurd
that i have no treasure to pass on just some wise words
the journey you have made is the real tresure you find
for the reality is..friendship is the real prize
they arethe most valuble thing in this world
notig can bring more happieness than yor boi or your gurl
so whoever you are i hope that you have learned
that the really tresure youve been searching for youve already earned
its the friendships you make along the journey of life
not the money or the fame or the glamourous wife

Adam stood there shocked strugglin to take it all in

i cant beleive that i have been so stupid to think
that friendship was worthless compared to such a small thing
as i look at my dead friends theres not much i can do
so i sit there and cry my eyes out..if only i knew.............

sorry about the length it took ages lol ...uh and i couldnt edit the other one..what with that?

"IF U ONLY KNEW"

He was just a young boy,16,Been lost his folks...
Moms and pops ran out,He hustle-ling for bones...
Trying to make some money just to feed his hunger...
Never loved anybody,He Never trusted another...
He felt smothered,Like the world was trying to suffocate him...
So he just kept doing his thang, Kept selling the cain...
Everyday customer, Black crack fiend lady...
He felt for the lady,Cause she had to struggle with a baby...
His mind went crazy, Everyday dreams he envisioned her...
He couldnt get her off his mind,She had the boy cursed...
Dark brown,In her 40s,Wrinkled face looked sad...
Glassy eyes,with potential,she didnt wanna do crack...
So he befriended the lady,Tried to get her off the streets...
But she refused,HIs heart went out,But it wouldnt reach her...
He tried to teach her,But she responded "Just mind your own,Stay outta my life son,I take care of myself Im grown"..
He left it alone,Knew it was wrong but kept supplying...
He had to give up the game his people are dying...
But he's trying,TO make enuff money just to get by...
One last time,He would supply just enuff to survive...
He watched her cry,She sniffed it and she died instantly...
Exceeded the average and she dropped,LIke she lost her feet...
He couldnt take the heat,So he tried to save the woman...
Searching her body for I.D and all he find is a pendant...
With a replica of him,Mimmicking his early age...
When he turnover the pendant,Compatible full names...
This woman was his mom and he watched her die...
Last breath,Closed her eyes,No more tears to cry...
Depression wa eating him up,He's hurting inside..
He overdosed the next nite,HE snorted the whole line!!!
if u only knew....

DAMN tight shit scare..............nice endin..........aight well a guess ama up on this shit cause thers not much mo ta do aight

omg....thats sooo sad scare.... :'( for real....had me in tears dawg.... :'( still cryin here....lol enuff of that....nice shit pledge girl..yea! hah.....u go girl....(fuckin cheerleader i sound like lol).. can't wait to see the turn out

uppin please cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx cxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

yo pledge check ya pm box home gurl
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a did......a replied..check yo box........ITZ FULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh yeah and uppin

well....its not tho....but jus email me pwezzz.....mharris72002@yahoo.com

i'll talk to ya later girl.....take care

UPPIN............................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..............................

Hmm.. close battle.

Scare : Nice line tho the flow was off, and many words didnt rhyme at all. Very good ending and emotion put into this however.

Pledge : Very in depth story, realistic, but the ending was a little weak and corny. To go over the limit as u did, I expected a lot of imagery and description in your verse to not find any. Also, like Scare, a lot of bars didnt flow or rhyme... hurt it a little more.

Vote : Im going with Scare on this one. The ending took it.