The forecast not looking to good this week,
and it's real funny, how real sunnys what ya weather man speaks.
I'm flooding the streets, call it the great white river,
fiends need coke and until the day they go broke, I'ma deliver.
and don't say money don't say shit cause when I introduce you to the pavement you gone have to pay for ya face lift.
tap my keyboard, but no way you can trace this, even if you tap backspace and erase this, you still gone taste this shit
I'll have you mama shooting up with paper clips running around with fake tits, screaming somebody rape this, duplicate, copy, paste, print and date this, but could neva recreate it
put it in the history books and then sell it to egypt, 100 years later they read while worshiping cause you tell em' its from jesus
I don't believe this, the way we get cought up in the act,
why ask why when you ain't trying to hear that?
It's all bullshit and we live it everyday, the reason dell came up with a monitor's so you can read what I say
my motherfucking word play tip top and on point, high like a rollercoaster ride break up and devide for the joint
or the blunt whatever you want, shit I'll smoke the stem and the stump if it make me crump.
let me ask you did you blink, na just fucking, but fo real peeps
what you think?

tight idea lacked a lil but was a great read

Shiznit's Thoughts:

VOCABULARY

>not quite sure about some words that were used cuz like some didnt make sense but it sounded good so u put them in ya kno..

"somebody rape this, duplicate, copy, paste, print and date this, but could neva recreate it" - thats interesting!

FLOW

>im not really sure bout the short then long then long then short then short short then long long....the flow was a bit off like when i read it..i didnt know where to stop or if i would continue reading or maybe think if thats the beginning or the end...well in structuring a piece by its flow...use a bit of rhyme scheme...although its a keystyle or freestyle...the flow have to fit the verse...dont worry u could do it..a little work thats all

WORDPLAY

>how you twist my brain on where to read next is really amazing as a matter of fact its alright...u didnt really put more in it..but if u couldve support some stuf with a couple of metas and multies it would be much better but props..

CONTENT

>the whole theme made this piece really stood out..nice thoughts...

"The forecast not looking to good this week,
and it's real funny, how real sunnys what ya weather man speaks.
I'm flooding the streets, call it the great white river,"

^^^nicely done!

OVERALL...its quite average...could work a little on some parts but yeah..it was nice to read this...

I SAID

WE still elevatin..join us!

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

i was feeling the begining.........torward the middle u lost me, but over all it was tight. I'm pretty sure its sounds alot better in audio

one!