Brittany I just want you to know you’re my favorite girl
Brittany I just want you to know you’re my favorite girl

Verse 1
Listen Brittany I want to be with you/
I want you to be my baby boo/
Cus I thought we clicked at the party, I hope I wasn’t wrong/
Cus I would feel crunchy if I’m writing this song/
Truthfully its not ya booty/
Its ya beauty/
I would kiss you down from the rooty to da tooty/
Girl you have style profile and finess/
O you want to know why I want to get with you let me tell you the rest/
#1 you are my Earth and My Sun
#2 you can be my baby boo
#3 the love I have for you I hope you can see
#4 I want you to be my wifey
#5 you fill my heart inside
#6 I want to kiss your lips
#7 girl you are just like heaven
#8 repeat steps 1-7

Repeat Hook

Verse 2
From the first time I met you it wasn’t the same/
I step closer to you and I forgot my name/
I don’t care what them people say/
I will always love all day every day/
I’ll be down with you if peeps stay dissin/
I’ll never cheat on you you’re the only one I’ll be kissin/
If you say no I wont be stalkin or snoopin/
You got me hoopin hollarin hollarin hoopin/
Black and bangin you the one im choosin/
Hair long and black buy your not Cuban/
My love for you will never vanish/
at the party you be shakin it up and down like your Spanish/
I’ll do anything to get with you/
I’ll be there if your in the hospital/
Like pharell and snoop dogg you are beautiful

Hook repeat x2
I just want you to know that you are really special
O, I, O, I, O, I, O, I, I just want you to know that you are really special
O, I, O, I, O, I, O, I

Verse 3
Listen Brittany I want you to be mine/
I hope this song I wrote wasn’t a waste of time/
I hope you feel the same way I do/
Cus if I never had feelings I would never had sang to you/
Maybe one day I could give you a lesson/
This remix right here is going to be on 21 questions/
Don’t you know how special you are/
I want to let you know you are my shinning star/
Listen peep this/
Before I wrote this song you had me speechless/
I like sayin ya name Brittany/
You got me hitting them high notes like I was Ashanti/

Hook
Brittany I just want you to know you’re my favorite girl
Brittany I just want you to know you’re my favorite girl

I just want you to know that you are really special
O, I, O, I, O, I, O, I, I just want you to know that you are really special
O, I, O, I, O, I, O, I

Attached Images

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not bad a little 2 lovey 4 my taste but thats a lack of on my part it's a good one

mo feed back

Its overall pretty good, I told my friend to read ti so you can get an opinion from a girl and she said its pretty sweet but you got a couple lines that could be a lot better like the "your not cuban" and "I'll be there in the hospital" or something like that. Hope it helped

well this girl isnt cuban shes black

upp this shit

upp this shit

eh yo kid that shyt was real tyte...i hope this girl Brit knows how you feel...keep spittin what you feel
fashow man keep doin what you doin...the song is too tyte- - it makes me wonder how the beat goes behind the meaning

da hunnet son

Keep uppin

Your girl must be proud........nice shit.

I liked reading this one....lots of emotion.....keep droppin' these kinds of poems..........good shit

Hmmm.....
alright......


Let's start off with the positive.....I could sense that the emotion was there for the most part....and sometimes I could understand what you are feeling for this girl, I suppose......

but.....

the structure is rather bland and the overall set-up and execution didn't strike me to read this willingly.
I don't care what you write about, as long as it's from the heart and it sounds dope. It has to make me think, it has to be inspiring, and frankly lines like this:
"I’ll be down with you if peeps stay dissin/
I’ll never cheat on you you’re the only one I’ll be kissin/" don't do it for me as being thought provoking.

Secondly, your rhymes are forced, and your lines are so choppy it is not even funny. You jump from idea to idea without a flowing motion of ideas from line into line.

Take this line from example:
"My love for you will never vanish/
at the party you be shakin it up and down like your Spanish/"

The lines don't even flow together, you just jump from one idea to the next, thus bringing out a forced rhyme.

Also, if you are writing a personal poem, include personal metaphors, or cosmic metaphors. Don't compare your love to Snoop Dogg or Ashanti, or any other public figure for that matter. It just doesn't work.

aiight thanx man

From a girls point of view it was real sweet! I jus hope that you can at least halfway sing lol! that girl must be really special for you to wanna take bits and peices of things to tell her how you feel, But (always a but in there some wheres) In certian spots you were comparing her other ppl (ie races) that aint cute! Some times ya flow was off but thats okay cause this piece was from the heart and plus you said the girl got you speechless. All in allI liked it it wsa heartfelt! Keep it up

aiiight thanx