okay this is a verse that was for a collabo, but my m8 moved house *breaks down & cries* its 2 emoctional *continues 2 cry* ne way here it is:



look down the scope aim in his head just above the eye/
look down the scope, this person is gonna die/
im gonna kill an inocent guy all i care is the money/
this kill reminds me of my first shootin at a bunny/
ive killed alot of people since those days/
resived much crytisam & just as much praise/
they call me an assassin, an abandoned despioler, a sniper/
mind like a blue dragon, hormones pumping makin my mind go hyper/
the evils within have made death smile upon this man/
& all he can do is smile back tighten the grip/
pull the gun into my shoulders away from my hip/
eye down the scope a second time feel the trigger/
eye still lookin down the scope about to become a headless figure/
The Ping of the bullet leaving the barrel Crimson Liquid Every Where/
Take a breathe & start packing my gun away then get outta there/
Unscrew the silencer, empty the magazine, take out the empty case/
climb down the ladder chuck my bag in & drive away drive like a race/

I stopped reading after money... this was wack, you can tell you never even held a gun b4 by the way you goin' about this piece...

"im gonna kill an inocent guy all i care is the money/
this kill reminds me of my first shootin at a bunny/".....

^ shooting a human is a lot different feeling then shooting a rabbit man, trust me... even if the man doesn't die..

"Unscrew the silencer, empty the magazine, take out the empty case/
climb down the ladder chuck my bag in & drive away drive like a race/"...

^why would you empty the magazine if you're packing it up, and the "casing" which is the right term, comes out automatically with the recoil.. unless you're using a WWII isued rifel or somethin'.. lol...

and also, even if it was just an imaginative piece, your vocab and flow were way off... the flow made the vocab seemed forced.. even in the two lines I just quopted, it's real choppy, you need some elevation... not say'n you suck or ne-thing but try to work on a few things

peace

__________________

Okay ye the rhyme was pretty shit, flow was choppy & simplistic vocab & i know i can do better BUT Ive held gauges & rifles & to say when u shoot things u feel diffrently, wen i shoot clay piogens or live prey, i always feel the same. & to be honest you way of with that WW2 rifle crap cuz if ur using a bolt action u gotta pull back to let the empty cartrage out IE using an Accuracy Internationl Artic Warfare Magnum Sniper rifle or a Steyr Scout. the sniper rifle i am talking about IS NOT an automatic one such as the SIG 550 like u are on about. Also he would empty the magasine so you can get ur unused bullets back its called hitting your target. So before you start talkin big with ur Little Gun knowledge dont come here cuz i know quiet abit about guns.
so i guess what im sayin here is. is dont try & make me look dumb tryna think u know alot about guns wen its obvious u know pretty much jack shit, go & show off to all 8 year olds in your area abhout "the Vast Gun Knowledge" that you have.

lol... okay bud, I ain't even say I knew alot about guns... I know enough to know that for most newer bolt action it's atleast semi... so the new round loads automatically and the empty casing ejects automatically... and you don't need to empty the magazine, if he's in that much-a hurry it's easier to unload the chamber and put it on safety, why take the time gettin' bullets out-the mag... leave it in the gun an' bounce.... I wasn't try'n to start a war over that comment but, whatever... that's where those comments came from..

__________________