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Old 07-08-03, 02:00 AM   #1
Verbatim
That's Right...I'm White
 
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Fed Up

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I've been called an asshole, even a prick
i keep it all in, gettin real ticked
don't know what i did to deserve this shit
always lookin at wrist, debating whether to slit
knife in hand, all set got a plan
write a note, hoping they'll understand
DEAR PARENTS, i want you to know that i love you
and what i'm about to do, has nothing to do with you
i'm just fed up with my life
so i decided to pick up a knife
i don't want you to cry, just because i've died
it was my choice, to commit suicide
i never told you about what was going on
i was trying to be like dad, tryin to be strong
and bro, don't ever forget the times we had
some were good, and some were bad
don't worry about me, i'll be watchin you from above
don't ever forget, all my love
but now it's time to do something crazy
i'll never forget you, love Jamie

yeh this has nothing to do with me,
i was just think about all the shit that goes on in school and shit, ya know bullies and all the shit
but yeh,
up this shit

Last edited by Krem : 07-08-03 at 01:52 PM.
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Old 07-08-03, 01:57 PM   #2
Verbatim
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don't sleep
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Old 07-08-03, 02:59 PM   #3
Verbatim
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come on people
up this
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Old 07-08-03, 09:42 PM   #4
phoenix808
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can't sleep if you have insomnia like me, the suicide note idea was good, the rhymes didn't interfere with the message or lines at all, this hit close to home, cuz I had to talk a friend of mine out of suicide, keep up the good work
peace
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Old 07-09-03, 02:19 AM   #5
Verbatim
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uppin
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Old 07-11-03, 01:22 PM   #6
varentao
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Yeah. This was raw and strong in emotions.

I felt you went over certain cliches too much though. It seemed a bit over done to me. But the emotions were there. and they did come out...

..resp..
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