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Old 07-09-03, 01:43 PM   #1
dreamer
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God's Plan???

IP: 798E 1507

i cant keep going on, im 'dealing' with this 'bullish' its "torture"
everything that looks 'appealing'is not, even the 'pullpit' will "scorch ya"
babies cant even trust their mommas theyll "abort ya"
ya so call friends talk behind ya back 'ready' to "report ya"
black azz to the cops now they moving in 'steady' to "escort ya"
off to the "prison", going crazy feel like theres no reason to be "livin"
So you try to kill yourself with what you was 'givin'
now you stuck in isolation with psychiatric 'supervision'//

Andnow you ready to be 'released' for good "behavior"
telling the 'police' you changed you accepted God as your "savior"
now you back on these streets asking for a "favor"
what "dumbness" niggas run around the hood thinking they "run this" 'planet' hard to 'understand it', only the dead are taking life for 'granet' yeah we was all born 'second handed' with the ability to have our knowledge base 'expanded' but niggas dont care they rather be lost left out,'stranded' this cant be the way God 'Planned It'//
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Old 07-09-03, 03:19 PM   #2
RythmicTendicies
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IP: C6B7 ABA9

Theres Alot Of "God" Topic Pieces Going Around: Wish A2Z Had Never Started That Thread..lol! j/k

Rhyming/Flow
Was O.k, Some It It Was pretty Basic, YOu Used "ya" Most OfThe Time Thought,,Could Have Been Better.Flow Was Pretty Tight, You had A few Multi's In there too!...5/10

Vocab/Wordplay
This Was Rather Simplistic, Try To Expand You Vocab A Bit, However You Had Some Good Wordplay in Some PLaces..IMprove This.... 3/10

Concept/Topic
This Rather Confused Me, You Only Had 2 or 3 At The Most, Lines That Actually Related To the Topic! You Were PLaying The Gangsta Image A bit..As far As I Could See Most Of It Was About Someone Being Sent To Prison Under "psychiatric 'supervision", Not Much to Do With Gods Plan...But anyway..... 3/10

Overall
4/10....Could Have Been Alot Better, Up You Vocab, Add Multis To help the Flow!
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