(spoken)
Who had no graves but only epitaphs
Where never so many spoke for never so few:
Per ardua, said the partisans of Mars,
Per aspera, to the stars.

(rappin)
Bombs, Gunshots Firing Overhead, I Could’ve Been A Writer, Bit I Choose War Instead...
I Became A Fighter, With My Life, Hanging On By A Slender Thread...
My Life has Been Through A Blender, I Can See Only Disappointment Ahead...
Out Here, Everyone’s Favourite Colour Is Red, Countless Innocent Lives, Ripped To A Shred...
Carefully We Silently Tread, Through No-Mans Land, Trying To Keep A Steady Hand...
We’re At Expense, Of The Generals Command, They Can Not Appreciate Us, And Understand...
What Our Lives Had Planned, Or The Amount Of Pain, One Man Can Withstand...
We’re Just A Pawn In The Game, Although Most Pawns , Will Come Out Forever Lame...
Torture We Adamantly Proclaim, A Steady Aim, Kills A Solider, With a Already Forgotten Name..
No One Knew, Of What Became Of Him, His Love Ones, Never Knew I Tore Him Limb From Limb...

x2 These Motherfuckers Here Can’t HOLD ME BACK...
These Satanist’s Here, Can’t HOLD ME BACK...
Going Over The Top, For The Final Attack...
These Motherfuckers Here Can’t HOLD ME BACK

Never Knew, Killing A Man, Meant So Much Distress, A Single Shot, With Accurate Success...
Even Now, I Still Confess, This Mans Soul, I Ungratefully Possess...
His Deceased Mind, I Still Bless, I Still Suppress, Leaving A Man Blind...
Sorely Stricken By Taking a Life, From The Confined Clutches Of Mankind...
To 87th Infan-try, They Had Me Assigned, By July, I’ll Dishonourably Resign...
Going Over The Top, One Last Time, Over The Trench, For One Last Solitary Climb...
The Horror, Had My Heart Sublime, I Had No Regard For What Soldiers Were Mine...
Firing Everywhere, Accumulating My Contribution To Battlefield Grime...
To Survive, All I Needed Was A Sign, But Till Then, God I’ll Continue To Contravene...
Gangrene, Death, Horror All Around Me, Having To Witness This, Surrounding Me...
Profound Thoughts, Controlling Me, In This Game, I Gotta Act Fast – Like Bruce Lee...
No One Knew, Of What Became Of Him, His Love Ones, Never Knew I Tore Him Limb From Limb...


x2 These Motherfuckers Here Can’t HOLD ME BACK...
These Satanist’s Here, Can’t HOLD ME BACK...
Going Over The Top, For The Final Attack...
These Motherfuckers Here Can’t HOLD ME BACK

(spoken)
Seldom the ghosts come back bearing their tales
Of hitting the earth, the incompressible sea,
But stayed up there in the relative wind,
Shades fading in the mind,

Who had no graves but only epitaphs
Where never so many spoke for never so few:
Per ardua, said the partisans of Mars,
Per aspera, to the stars.

x4 These Motherfuckers Here Can’t HOLD ME BACK...
These Satanist’s Here, Can’t HOLD ME BACK...
Going Over The Top, For The Final Attack...
These Motherfuckers Here Can’t HOLD ME BACK

YO LONG BUT WEEL WORTH THE READ WE MUST COLLABV FAM

uppin, don't be sleepin!

uppin for some feedback!

shit was ill dog like the vocab and the war scheme keep spittin

uppin, Don't Be slepping and give me some constructive critism for once!

I liked this piece...it had nice imagery ya know...and you stuck to the theme nicely too...but a coupla multiez woulda made this better...so I give it a 8.5/10

Shiznit's Thoughts:

VOCABULARY

>hmm very interesting use of words...i mean the fully understand fact of most vocabs that u used were exquisite...like they were made to be there...deep terminology....nice
>got some wordplay thrown out here and there....the multisare good but could be better...

i.e.
"Carefully We Silently Tread, Through No-Mans Land, Trying To Keep A Steady Hand...
We’re At Expense, Of The Generals Command, They Can Not Appreciate Us, And Understand"

^^^thats what im talking bout...although there was some touch of simplisticness...ur words stood out that made the reader understand and relate more to what ur talking about..props!

FLOW

>the hook came out pretty strong on this one....in sense of reading it aloud it made me get on with the whole scheme and it fits but some parts i was off..i think i suck at reading..hehe but that was good

CONTENT

>the whole patriotic theme was really the best way to come up with something very good like this one..Your creativeness in words and the subject matter really showed up how such a great writer u are and better...

OVER ALL..

> i dont usually rate pieces on here..cuz i think every1's unique in many ways...but it was fun reading this...i liked it a lot

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

TIGHT STUFF KEEP RYMIN

thank for the feedback ^thats what i'm talking about^ lol

On a better not unlike Dappa or whatever his name was...I agree more with Shiznit. It had high and good areas but then some parts of it where other wise ok. She did an overall good job of breaking it down so not much else to say.

Rhythmic'z a girl??????

lol,

Unless I've Had A Sex Change When I Was Asleep, I'm Still Pretty Much A Male..

Ty For The Feedback!