Looking back upon that difficult time,
It fills my heart with sorrow.
I beg and mourn, I plead to thee,
To take away this horror.

The memory tears at my skin,
Makes me hollow, deep within,
You've torn my intestines,
I spill my guts,
When will this feeling end?

Just thinking makes my brain bleed,
The pain sears through and through.
I collapse, it cuts deeper,
I gasp for breath.
My lungs constricting tighter.

It grasps me as I choke,
Now I'm surrounded in thick smoke.
It engulfs me, as my body stops,
It gives up, my hope is lost.
The end has come, it all goes dark.
Goodbye, goodbye my love.

This was a good follow-up though not totally faithful to it's predecessor.
It was still emotional, maybe even more so, it's now less of imagination and more of pain...A companion throgh utter duplicity sends you 'over the horizon' and you have faced what it was...
It has led you to your death, whether mental emotional or physical, it is greivant, painful, an End.
The sparing of one's life for another regardless of the opposite's feeling is truly innocent...
This made for a good conlusion, as death is the inevitable finale...Thanks for being inspired and thanks for giving some closure to seeing what was over the horizon...I love the obvious maneuvers around saying what it was, very classy, very mysterious, very imaginative for the reader aswell......
A good first piece and a worthy sequel

"The fire of your pain consumes you" the first thing that popped into my head as i read this piece. The first one was better i won't lie to you, as deciet said this is a worthy sequel however, in fact somewhat better than worthy, I enjoyed both pieces and feel that very soon you will burst out to display the talent you are holding back.

It grasps me as I choke,
Now I'm surrounded in thick smoke.
It engulfs me, as my body stops,
It gives up, my hope is lost.
The end has come, it all goes dark.
Goodbye, goodbye my love- this touched that dark part of my heart that was enjoys suffering. wonderful piece.
Thank you for the experience.

your brain bleeds all the time...
maybe I should read your prior piece...

skim over..actual read...

the imagery was okay and the vocabulary wasn't
anything spectacular...didnt need to be either....
you got your feelings across the bridge well and
this flowed pretty well nic...not bad at all

Wow, thanks a lot guys! I'm really pleased with that feedback. It encourages me to carry on sooner, so thanks for keeping me going.

Interesting piece, the first time I read it, I felt it so much I wanted to know the horror you spoke of, the second time I read it, I read it physically, and I felt like I was being consumed by fire. The imagery was so intense that I felt like a dying man trapped within flames, my last thoughts being of great pain, not the physical pain I was experiencing, but the emotional.. And still, you love.

Really nice work Nicanda~

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