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Old 08-15-03, 03:21 PM   #1
Khôi NguJin
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SuperNatural

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They called him crazy and maybe he was erratic at times
Mastered the tactics photogenic, solving galactic crimes.
Used the mind to find his ways through substantial issues
Tried to throw him off with quotes of "we won't miss you."
He didn't care, knowing that his powers came with burden
Cleverness was showing, he didn't know why he was hurting.
Reminisce the early years he went insane were beneficial
Looked upon as free...being essential not superficial.
Had a heart of gold with advice for every person; pure
The lure had hooked millions, situation worsened; cured.
When darkness falls they can stare into complete vividness
Sending requests for better living...obsoletes the sickness.
With no witness to explain the fault of the human race
He would covertly examine with satan face to face..
By placing him lower than the ground beneath his soles
He could easily beckon with the man he is of mold..
Following in the footsteps of a man so hailed greatness
The last mile of the journey is closing derailed maintenance.
Finally giving his life because that would plant his seeds..
As a follower of Jesus....He was supernatural indeed.
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Old 08-15-03, 08:43 PM   #2
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this was pretty good..flow was nice..multis were good..content was ight..topic was kinda different..need to work on ya grammar tho..a few lines were.......and dnt put words just for flows sake..

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Had a heart of gold with advice for every person; pure
The lure had hooked millions, situation worsened; cured.


like that..pure..cured..seemed like u did it for flows sake..or ur supposed to pause before u say it..which slows the flow down..make n it irrelevant..

other than that..not bad..worth the read..
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Old 08-15-03, 08:48 PM   #3
Split.
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^^stfu...
this was sick bud, flow was impeccable, and your grammar was fine, i dunno what "mr. english teacher" saw wrong with it, but i thought it was awesome, keep droppin... i look forward to reading more of your work...
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Old 08-16-03, 07:52 PM   #4
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yeah i thot it was pretty dope too man, keep up the effort
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