![]() |
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Sharp Perfection.
|
Losing you throu acts of another
IP: 4577 CD9A
hey its been awhile but im back yet again anywho here it is...
I dont know when the next time will be when i see your smilin face// I look up at the clouds, prayin to god to send you back to your right place// I cant imange a life without you here secure, close by my side// I once told you that things would never change, i hate to think that i lied// Your sparkling blue eyes truly blew away all my cloudy days// without you i wouldnt been able to part the shit and see my way// Your tiny hands held me up like crutches, when you pain twice more// bastard stealing you away, to scared to stand up, sinkin right throu the floor// Some ppl dont relise what they rip apart with one simple act// want to show them all the pain it causes, but im too slow to react// theres always these what ifs runnin blindly throu my head// wishin screams would mute and i'd wake up with you safe in your bed// Your fragil mind is too young to possibly take all this hell in// tryin to find words to put it in but no matter what its always gonna be a sin// And as you turn around in the back of your car seat to wave good-bye// i swallow hard, hold my head high, wish you all the best, givin in to all the pain and cry//
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven Last edited by filed : 08-27-03 at 01:32 PM. |
|||||||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 73D8 AACD
Oh i loved this....
it was really well written, and so very emotional... captured the pain really well ma stay up |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 64A5 FF18
Though at times over-elaborating in many aspects. The purity of the piece made that less relevant.
By purity, i mean the heartfelt emotions. The raw way in which you wrote it, not allowing structure or anything to dictate too much. The pain was easily relatable. ..resp... |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Sharp Perfection.
|
IP: C1DA C961
thx all keep uppin
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
|||||||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Sharp Perfection.
|
IP: 399E F0FD
dont sleep
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
|||||||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Sharp Perfection.
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
quit sleepin
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
|||||||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 64A5 FF18
^seriously, be patient. You upped it twice in a day or something. It'll come. This place is relaxed.
|
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Sharp Perfection.
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
uppin
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
|||||||
![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
Registered User
|
IP: 8197 FA9C
baby girl, I felt this... I could feel the pain in this piece
good work... keep dropping and keep speaking straight from the heart, that's what poetry is all about. Nice drop |
|||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: C83E 424D
I dont know when the next tme will be when i see your smilin face//
I look up at the clouds,prayin to god to send you back to your right place// ^^^ I love the imagery you displayed, i can see a smilin face lookin back my memorys thats how deep i perceived it Your sparkling blue eyes truly blew away all my cloudy days// without you i wouldnt been able to part the shit and see my way// ^^ your stanzas all start out very strong and finish good Some ppl dont relise what they rip apart with one simple act// want to show them all the pain it causes, but im too slow to react// ^^ I can envision your pain throughout the piece Your fragil mind is too young to possibly take all this hell in// tryin to find words to put it in but no matter what its always gonna be a sin// And as you turn around in the back of your car seat to wave good-bye// i swallow hard, hold my head high, wish you all the best, givin in to all the pain and cry// ^^ strong finish to the piece keep writin and elevatin yourself pz DF |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|