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Old 08-25-03, 06:23 PM   #1
pot1ent
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Disturbed(ORDO ABACHO)

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The topic is about someone to caught up in ambitions and looses self control and the joys of living...Enjoy

The thoughts inside of my head are becoming my freinds,
They speak to me truthfully balancing out if it's my trendz/
Didn't intend to loose control of what i had to progress,
Now i'm left without acheivments but goals that distress/
Try to impress but never seems good enough for peeps,
Go on sleep but i'ma be active to score then skill will be bleak/
No treats always making a meal of things that don't remain,
Quesions never explained but left with whats and if it did,
Trying not to kid myself but that's what i am tryna be big/
Hid the real reasons of why i'm proceeding in mystery,
Never used to be untill i want to foward my abilitys/
Swiftly lost control of what was and what i drempt of,
Temptaions of restaring mists but his gutts says not/
Has he lost the plot? going by what his stomach says to,
No longer clued cuz he seeks for the answer he choose/
Has the blues but green shades his world n perishes,
Holds bitterness cuz his happiness is never cherished/
Always ferris wheel motion cuz he's repeating his action,
Never has the satisfaction of rewards cuz of traction/
Whats happenin? his life his colliding with other forces,
He pauses...he wants heaven so now he's for other causes/
He's the morgue corpse now cuz he found that quick answer,
He had to have things perfect..death...he was never a chancer/

ORDO ABACHO
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Old 08-25-03, 06:44 PM   #2
.Overdrive.
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Man I like That......... Pretty Basic nd Self Expained but it dint need to be complexed ya know...Nice Mutli's ............Good Flow and i was feeling it to tight shit 8.5/10
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Old 08-25-03, 08:03 PM   #3
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yea, nice flow, you kept a consistence style throughout da whole thing, da whole
xxxxxxAxxxxxxxA//
xxxxxxAxxxxxxxA//
xxAxxxxxxxxxxxB// scheme

i dissagree with dynamatic though, you can elavate yaself and you dont have to restrict yaself to just being basic because some dikhed told ya so bruv lol, keep droppin
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Old 08-25-03, 08:39 PM   #4
D-Dizzle
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This was aiight, not wack at all. I think the fact that your substance on the lyrics helped this joint out. You dodn't have an advanced style or slick wordplay, at least not in ths piece but you redemed yourself with good subject matter
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Old 08-25-03, 08:41 PM   #5
pot1ent
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thanx................................noted all points...................................
.................................................. ..................................oNe
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Old 08-25-03, 10:40 PM   #6
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dat shit wuz hot dawg.............................now dats hip-hop..........................lol....
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Old 08-26-03, 12:21 PM   #7
pot1ent
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thanx...hOlla
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Old 08-26-03, 12:28 PM   #8
$tyle/$witch
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yo dawg can u vote on dis ish my nizzle............................................ .................................................. .......
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=75517
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