Yo....Just gotta let you all know....Life Is Just A Mystery....

Feel me on this one.....

I Know, Life Is Hard, Feel Like Im Behind Bars
Its Just Another Fast Lane, With 500 More Cars
I Had You In My Arms, I Pushed And Took It To Far
I Had My Shots, And Only Took My Par, Ripped It Apart
You Were In My Heart, Laughter Is All That I Saw
But I Was Wrong, You Took It From Me, We Were So Strong..

Chorus:
Life, Only Known As A-Mystery
Im Missin The Vision, To-Blurry
Like Animals Scurried, Your-Gone
Life Will Be To-Long, Hope You Feel Me...
In-This-Song

We Had Our Chances, Took No Glances
Seein Eachother Was Hard Through My Parents
We Sat Starin, Lookin At You, Your Eyes Just Glarin
I Was Preparin For My Eyes To Fill With Tears
Thinkin To My Self, Only Took Me 14 Whole Years
You Always Set Things Straight And Make Things Clear
I always Felt Your Love When You Were Near
I Musta Took The Wrong Turn, Cuz Now, You Aint Here...

Chorus:X2
Life, Only Known As A-Mystery
Im Missin The Vision, To-Blurry
Like Animals Scurried, Your-Gone
Life Will Be To-Long, Hope You Feel Me...
In-This-Song

I Prayed Every Night That You'd Come Back
But We Aint Goin No Where, Cant Push To Fast
My Memoires Are Focused On Only The Past
I Wonder How None Of This Is Affecting You
Cuz Me, It Goes Right Through, Im Stuck On You
I Try To Stay Cool, But I Hafta Show My Emotions
I Had Total Devotion, But Now, My Heart Is Broken...

Chorus:X3
Life, Only Known As A-Mystery
Im Missin The Vision, To-Blurry
Like Animals Scurried, Your-Gone
Life Will Be To-Long, Hope You Feel Me...
In-This-Song

Uppin fo replies..........

Can i get some replies here?

I liked this piece...it kinda reminded me of one of ya other piecez...lol...by the way...why are all ya open-mics sad love songz??????

^ Lol. .

Im sure you know this concepts been done before Slik, however, dont let it take that away from you, you told the story pretty nicely, it could of used more Character Build up / descriptions about the folks mentioned so we could get a mental picture in our minds eye of what was going on, you had some internals there but they were often basic, Multi's is what you need to try introducing into your stuff to elevate now, the emotional side was there, story telling was there, you just need to build on your flow, internals & multi's, also - the hook was a lost cause in this piece - id delete it out, it takes the reader's thought away from the story, the multi is forced and "Animals Scurried, Your Gone" i wasnt feeling that line at all, aside from that i thought this was good, you have a lot of potential but elevation is the key!

Sorry for being harsh, im just tryna help you elevate, its constructive critisism, thats all.
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