a full track, this is gonna be an audio. try using the "new york state of mind" beat for a fuller picture.

(v1)
a few years ago, i stood on the brink of manhood/
quietly contemplating what would happen, and could/
at the brink before the void without image or noise/
i stepped into the blackness and changed from a boy/
experimented in advanced stages of drunkeness/
watched rooms spin and move in, mood sunk to stress/
calculated units, waistline expands and contracts/
which taught me i could get fat, reverse and come back/
had my virginity shattered to a million pieces/
because the body wants constantly, the "filling 'em" thesis/
so why should i resist? i pushed the boundaries/
reached peaks, couldnt speak, with these girls who were down with me/
i pushed my weed tolerance, sat hypnotised/
at my reflection in the mirror with the cryptic eyes/
i've explored my interests and now some have died/
its time to take the next route which comes to mind/

(hook)
the next challenge is (whatever comes to mind)
i'll be having it (whatever comes to mind)
i strike balance with (whatever comes to mind)
the next manuscript (whatever comes to mind)

(v2)
when i was 15, i pushed my physical ability/
to see how strong i could become with my will in me/
practised patterns and meditation, mental levitation/
and made the proclamation to beat all the adjasent/
heavy bags hung from metal hooks took the impact/
of kicks and punches, they shook and swung back/
i lost brain cells when i didnt train well/
when my sparring partners caught me off gaurd, the pains swells/
i trained my mind, read books from the greatest authors/
subject matter from love stories to human slaughter/
from laughter, altered states and the stepping of time/
came to realise that these journies reflected mine/
it blew my mind, i had to flip back and takes notes/
take a degree to extract exactly what they wrote/
snapped it closed and took a long look at the book's spine/
tried to figure out the next step that comes to mind/

(hook)

(v3)
they say the journey never ends it just begins again/
so now i'm trying to push hard my skill in the pen/
try to achieve the perfect verse, utterly flawless/
find the perfect beat to match and record a chorus/
try to incorperate aspects of vocab and imagery/
multi's and wordplay in blanced symettry/
i studied the greatest rhymers in all genres of music/
discarded lines, thought up new subjects and how i could use it/
tried to inspire others into raising the bar/
and projects their brain waves amazingly far/
to dip into their own experience, thats keeping it real/
and hopefully one day i'd be peeping a deal/
now, i've got another goal to expand my inner soul/
another task to take me closer and pass the winners pole/
i aint chose it yet but i'll forever run in time/
as the man who perfected whatever comes to mind/

(hook)

feedback?

yo i felt it all the way the virgin line in verse one and
they say the journey never ends it just begins again/
so now i'm trying to push hard my skill in the pen/
that was the illest to me... yeah stayed on your topic and rhythm that was ill twin holla at me when you do the audio

Yo this track flowed off my tongue,liked some of the wordplay and vocab was pretty good,would defo like to hear an audio of this,also liked tha idea behind tha hook.

Peace

Yeah, nice drop my man - i havent seen a lot of previous stuff from this but it was decent, probably a lot better sounding in audio, you might need a few more internals here and there if it goes audio but aside from that, flow was there, on-point throughout, a couple quoteables here and there, the hook was a nice touch, made for a good read.

Props.

I remember you from RNR, Johnny.


Overall, an okay piece. The flow and rhyme scheme etc. were
good, but the content wasn't. But due to the fact that this is
supposed to be a song, which means it should be in audio, it will
be acceptable because people won't be able to read the lyrics
like they can hear. Good flow though, so spit it to a track and
upload it, unless you've already done so, lol.

__________________

the content was dope, shut the fuck up.

uppin^^