e sits at the back of the bus, invisible to the common eye/
Blessed with a musical touch, but never gets recognised/
His pencil is an ocean of emotion, the flow'll never stop/
He's lost in his headphones... He's true hip hop/

Imagine findin' a utopia that takes over your mindstate/
He finds his perfect world contained within a mixtape/
Head bobbin', pen scratchin', busy writing his scripture/
No stoppin', sent packin', usin' a pen to paint a picture/
Good vs. Evil, stories of the people, make-up a collage of ink/
In the hip hop food chain, he's the missing link/


Was a start. But i feel asleep last night. Any comments?

YO DAWG I LIKE THE FLOW ALOT CAUSE THATS HOW I FEEL MOST O DA TIME YOU KNOW? BUT YEA DAWG KEEP THAT SHIT UP!

I WOULD APPRECIATE SOME FEEDBACK

-IVE LOST IT-
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=77243

AT THE END OF MY ROPE
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=77246

Short, yet to the point - i liked this piece, last line was easily its highlight as i read it, good imagery and story telling shown here, the mixtape line was worded dope, and thats coming from a guy who's been here three years so i know what im talking about! The flow was there, could you a slight tweak, more multi's and internals would help you a lot, but all in all a decent drop, you have a lot of potential my man, i hope you use that wisely. .

Props!
Replies To Mine Would Be Appreciated: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=77159

you kept it tense and raw from the gate to the other side of the fence twin illness peep my ish neva b famus

^Thanks everyone.

I am The Law. I Messed up my other account.

Uppin'.

Off the heezey.

Good imagery, I can see EMINEM at the back of the bus in 8 Mile thinkin those exact thoughts.
I liked it.......


PEACE~~~~~~~~~~~~>

Oh shit man... why'd you fall a sleep... you got to keep that shit going, make it longer... finish it man... obviously you know I'm feeling this... you was flowing there man... I was feeling that concept, vocab was there... damm... this shit was mad potential man, you got finish it dawg... lol...

-1-

^I remember you from when I first joined.

Thanks for all the replies.

pz

that was good your vocab was alright, but i liked ur concept