Bad dreams cluttered with death and red stains,
Visions of me slain with half rotten remains,
The life i chose made me feel sorrow,
A theif a drug addict , hoping not to see tommorow,
Dropped out of school at 16 thinkin i was grown up,
No job no future and a vision of my wrist's cut,
The easy way out we all want to take it,
But your told when your a child life is what you make it,
I didnt think mine would be fucked up and full of hatred,
Ganging up on kids , fistfights, takin drugs , and fuckin girls,
This was by 15 years of age and i thought i ruled the world,
Been arrested , almost went to federal prison,,
Money taps , drug dealing , Inditements and still wouldnt listen,
A man at a young age , raged and unleashed in my so called youth,
Stayin out late, and bein gone for days and i thought i knew the truth
I listened to friends and was influenced by greed and envy,
I took what i wanted even if it didnt tempt me,
By 18 i was a known felon and a drug dealer still a bleek future ahead of me,
Still wouldnt help myself i told people im helpless, I need guidance and therapy,
When deep down inside i feel anger and lying satisfy's me,
My hunger for evil and taking the wrong path,
I knew would soon be my downfall and the devil was after my ass,
Still strugglin to make ends meet sniffin coke and doin whatever,
Bearin the stormy weather with the devil by my side for peer pressure,
I been lectured, locked in padded rooms and still i feel the same,
I looked to god and I felt like denied me and made me feel shame,
When all along it was my weakened self who was to blame,
The future needs to be changed and its time for me to see the light,
I wanna be happy and live to see the days turn to nights,
To see the stars fill the sky with lights and hope for tommorow,
To no longer feel sorrow and change this shell of a man that use to be Hollow,
To do what im told and to bust my ass is what i need to do,
Got my G.E.D took some class's and even passed them to,
And to think 2 years ago i was dealin and doin blow,
I got a career in computers and the house and car to prove it,
If you wanna make it in life it's you who has to do it,
I looked for a stroke of god like hitting the lottery,
EVery time i lost it bothered me,
But i relaized it takes determination and honesty to live life to the fullest,
To think if i kept going i could have dispersed or ben hit by bullets,
Me future seems secure but i still have the urge to be bad,
I got a kid on the way hard to beleive im gonna be a dad,
A girl who loves me and my family finally forgave what i did,
They forgave the fact i said i hated them and lived in sin,
I hope and pray not to fuck up again and be sided with SATAN,
I need to take one step at a time and learn that in life you need Patience
Good will and strong virtue and a lil busting your ass,
Work hard and it feels good to make real cash,
Fuck hustlin that shit aint what it seems
Take it from me The Kid who turned man at 15
That shit goes sour and the path of good gives serenity
I feel stronger than befor and if you have the same urges then repent with me