I wrote this about a guy i care about who raps, he wrote a song to one of his ex gfs that i think is the most beautiful thing ive ever heard. so naturally, the poem is "The Sensitive Rapper"

I listen to your song,
So beautiful and true,
wishing it was me,
you were singing to,
But no, it's not me,
And Probably never will be,
i wish i could be with you,
If only you could see....

This next one i wrote when i was feeling sad.....
"Left behind"

Left in the darkness,
Always left behind,
always going crazy,
pratically out of my mind.
This is my world,
insanity personified,
Never knowing where to turn,
but always wanting to hide.

I liked the first one just cause something like that happened to me. This girl I used to live near was a very good writer and I read stuff she had about another guy. It blew me away. I tried getting her to write about me but couldn't do it. It's ok though, she was a distraction. Honestly, if I hadn't been in the same situation I probably wouldn't have cared much for that writing. There wasn't a whole lot to it but I did like it cause you got me remembering.

Scared and Alone is what I thought of when reading the 2nd one. Who hasn't felt like that? Like the first one, there wasn't much to this but it got me thinking about times I felt like that. Makes me appreciate where I am now.

For being such short and simple writings they kinda had a punch to them, in my opinion. I thought they were pretty good but next time you write put more into it.

i think they were decent but mabye a little vague, you could make them longer, elevate and you'll be writing some fine shit soon.

but i liked them in general, the 2nd one was better. i couldnt really relate to the first one coz i've never felt like that or been in that situation.

peace and love..... keep posting

iight

they were pretty good poems, although i felt they could have had more too them

the first one i didnt expect to end there, it just stopped, i felt like it was just chopped off, you started a story and didnt finish it, and if that was the whole story then you should have made more too it, by using your emotions more

the second one i too thought was the better one but the same as before, keep it going, if you've got something good keep writing, may take awhile before you get more down thats goes, but it will come k.

i think i liked the better one more coz as said most ppl can relate more to the second one, then the first

also work on your vocab, and on getting your message throu

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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nice. the first one is so deep and pure. don't ever lose that.
the second one washonest feeling I thought. NICE touch on both of them.

i liekd the first one the best...but are you not a guy?? maybe im wrong..but in'a way it was literally "gay" lol...juz incase but yo all in all 2 good simple poemns keep elavaten like me lol peace

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

Im a girl lol not a guy

lol at her location. .

first one was pretty cool, summed up your feelings in minimal words / syllables, short and to the point i felt.
Second one was a lot deeper than face-value showed, it seemed to get out your sub-concious thoughts and seemed to me like you were insecure about something, wanting to `hide` from it as you said.

i liked it though. props.

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W o r d P e r f e c t

Liked the first one of course ppl can relate to it. And the second one same i feel like that most of the time till i think bout my real purpose in life