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Old 09-15-03, 11:25 PM   #1
vinesoto
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It seems like...

IP: F150 0E6A

It seems like,
forever, I'll alwyas be alone,
It seems like,
I'll never really have a home,
It seems like,
noone wil ever care
it seems like,
i look for things that just aren't there,
It seems like,
I'm looking for things I'll never find,
It seems like,
pretty soon, I'll lose my mind,
Doome to be forver alone,
forever lost in space,
it's time like these,
times like now,
I want to shoot myslef in the face.
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Old 09-15-03, 11:57 PM   #2
prophiit
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i think it was okay but honestly it like this................remember this is only my opinion and it dosen't mean shit..............you started with a format and a vague theme..............towards the end the theme changed which is cool but you also changed your format....making it a bit confusing to me.............now overall i think the piece had an exceptional inner meaning..........but when you change so abruptly in a writing style it turns some readers off.....i still liked the piece keep dropping..........1
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Old 09-16-03, 06:11 AM   #3
vinesoto
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yuh i noticed i did that. i alwyas seem to chnage it to make my point but i have trouble making it fit so i change the format. thanks for your reply
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Old 09-16-03, 11:17 AM   #4
Provoked Images
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in short and quick and sweet....prophit has already said it, if u would've stayed wit wat u were doin/sayin, it could have been a very powerful piece, but it was a good drop nonetheless, jus not a piece that stands out, keep droppin...
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Old 09-16-03, 11:28 AM   #5
Smooth JT
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same, short and sweet. Need 2 stay with the topic. I was off a couple times too. good start, keep droppin
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